belonging to the wind

we’re all on our way
to better versions
of ourselves
packed deep inside
finite fortresses
of borrowed pride

there were beginnings
and ends
and a thousand ways to pretend

finding an answer
that hurts every question …

but in my mind
my quiet place to be
i find a source
of peace and tamed realities

and goals unmet
find a home somewhere
up among the clouds

i am no saint
but no saint ever had
a patent on passion

day bleeds into night
night bleeds into tomorrows

where will i find the space
to comfort all your sorrows?

yet one thing
one last request i have
is to let go
of what you never had

the soul is free

finding an answer
that hurts every question …

believe me
life… is a gift that fails
only when
you fail to laugh
at faults
that crack the endless smiles

leaving behind
paths that left complexities
bare to the bone
of gnawing, unforgiving faith

to be the best
is not the best place to be found

to rate the self
as never quite wholesome
to be bruised

don’t you understand?
there is no cage that bars demands

but the earth moves
it finds the answers
that soothe every question

the ground itself soars
underneath fete
and every roof that
promises
better rest

never doubt
only weakness is adored
and we see ourselves in so many things

so many…
finding answers
that hurt every question

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one final gift

the sky forgave
and the hopes congealed
the stars were burned
and the burns were healed

it was a night before the endless paths began
tell me where
did the furthest conflict land?

it was not how i meant anything to be
time only turns
but doesn’t turn for me

i was confused
but confusion
was only right
tell me did you

sleep through

that night ….

for the skies will burn
yet the burns will heal
i played nothing my way
yet i can’t help but feel

there is no answer to your questions now
tell me why ….
do we seek darkness

there is no forget
there is only forgive
there is no looming death
only time left to live

and someday i might
make it to my hopes and dreams

but til then
i’m
more than more could ever believe

for the sky!
the sky forgave …
and the hopes
they all congealed
the stars were silently burned
and the burns
quietly healed

and the day is better than
any prayer i gave within my youth

for tomorrow is never gone
when hearts hold on
tomorrow never gone
when hearts hold on
for they grow within their truths

20160515_094915

in response to a Buddhist post

(to refute the concept “judgement is bad” or “having no judgement makes you a better person”)

well, i see them as pretty much the same thing. though you can make a decision with or without (good) judgement. in otherwords, all judgements are decisions, but not all decisions are judgements … are not mutually exclusive.

it’s interesting … mainly because we use the term “judgement” in reference to several similar things. i have always seen it as in the sentence, “you can have good judgement or bad judgement.” so i perceive judgement as within an incremental scale according to skill or experience. and then the TYPE of judgement referenced here, or in your statement “judgement is based on polarised thinking” can be a type of BAD judgement.

judgement itself is not bad, we need to be able to judge situations and events for reasons of safety as well as foresight. judging people is a little more tricky — but is basically done whether you like to call it judgement or not. if you have a close friend that you like–that you go to coffee with — that is judgement. you are judging them as someone you like well enough to sit and have coffee.

therefore it is only falsely judging someone as a person you don’t like or would NOT have coffee with, that is then not called a type of BAD judgement, but simplified as judgement is BAD. and THAT is one of the oldest rhetorical-critic-ploys around. one i won’t make use of, because it is dishonorable. persuading others to give up their faculties, en mass. it is used in areas of suppression, for the sake of creating a more docile populace. that is just my opinion, and colored by quite a bit of unfair generalizations. but on the large-scale, it behooves any totalitarian political organization to have no judgement going on from its populace.

ps: the term for continuous overly-negative judgement is JUDGEMENTAL … so what is being spoken on here is they are trying to say “do not be judgemental” ….that doesn’t mean try to judge less. it means do not judge so harshly.

and yes, judging the world and others around oneself less harshly, can lead to more relaxed state of being. seeing less fault …. however, closing eyes to certain situations does not make them magically go away. and it is important to assess and direct elements of change. if you throw out the baby with the bathwater — say all judgement is terrible — then are left in limbo. it is very tempting to just believe less judgement is the “answer.” but it’s not. you need your judgement. you need good judgement. and hopefully, as we get older, are lucky enough to have better judgement and better discernment for better choices. solidifying a choice is not a sin. it is called conviction. and the reason we have convictions, is to find our reasoning within an individual format rather than group thinking.

lol … i guess what i’m trying to say, is that if you have no judgement at all, how are you going to manage to judge less harshly? :)

i understand the goal…. to not condemn since might not know all the facts, etc. but i do not agree with the goal to let it all slide — to simply look at anything and everything and say “it is not my place to judge.” because at that point, we see a type of suppression, and a manifestation of hidden resentments…. there is a term. passive aggression. so a community with the directive of no judgement allowed will manifest large degrees of passive aggressiveness. ways of getting even. and that’s a sad way to be. it is important to be assertive, and find that balance where are neither aggressive nor passive, but assertive.

and being assertive means exercising judgement– to use good judgement and try to stand up for yourself and what you believe. it’s not easy to be assertive. but doing so, i think, results in a more peaceful and complete state of mind. it means you are not fooling yourself, just to have a higher opinion of yourself (as a non-judging person). i didn’t mean to go on like this — and that was poor judgement on my part. see? and it’s good to be able to admit that, and know that i make mistakes. you have to judge yourself … otherwise coercion (by others) is your guide?

don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater. judgement is not a bad thing. it is a tool, and like any tool, is only as good as its user.

i’ve always had a problem with the blanket phrase, “you shouldn’t judge others.” because it is through judging others, and assessing the behavior of our fellows, that we can more justly judge ourselves. and NOT having that judgement of oneself, eliminates the good as well as the bad. for a system that is supposedly yin and yang, it is trying to be very yang yang yang. drop judgement, and be peaceful like me!

no. i would prefer to think LESS of myself in my struggle to understand existence. i would prefer to judge the world, and myself in it as a flawed, and sometimes very flawed individual. and you know why? because then when i smile … it is very, very real. it means i see GOOD. granted, sometimes when i see good, that is bad judgement on my part. but i try to err on the side of happy whenever possible.

in conclusion, it is incorrect to state that greater happiness/contentment occurs with no judgement. it sounds right, but is incorrect. they are confusing content with morose. with stepping out and away from existence as a being of influence, simply for the fact that you might judge poorly. and we all do at times. that’s part of being human. i know it can be a relief, and the phrase “it’s all good” became very popular for awhile. but only for awhile, because people started judging it.

you can reserve your judgement. but to dismiss it, is to deny the inevitable. and i would rather those i love around me and in my community — be crazy argumentative on the outside, and solid and loving on the inside. i would rather MY people feel they have a say, and work to understand and determine better ways of not only existence, but of getting along better with each other.

maybe it’s part of emotion. maybe i see someone asking me to give up my judgement, is to give up my rights of indignity. of outrage. or maybe i see that there is a very big problem with any force, that works to tell others to not use THEIR force. because you are then judging me, BEFORE any action– that my judgement is poor. and i resent that.

plus judging someone prior to action is one of the worst outcomes possible from the use of generalizations. you want to be happy? well, tell me how you using your judgement to tell others to drop their judgement is not hypocritical? and then tell me how many hypocrites radiate contentment. and then tell me again, how i should be like you and drop all judgement to be happy, while you are judging my existence as having too much judgement, because you’re so happy having the no judgement that you just used? or are you happy having power? and that is the question of the day.

ain’t it a fun kettle of fish? barrel of monkeys….. just don’t be fooled by those trying to take away your persuasion to be a proactive force in the universe. life is too short. by god, yes! judge away — and when you’re through, judge that it has been a good life … and it is a good life because you have done your best.

inner and outer. they hinge on each other.

SAM_0219a

the lone quail sat on the fence this morning
calling to his brood
calling and calling…
maybe he searched already
and got tired
decided to make them find him
maybe he’s lonely
and simply wants any fellow quail
to appear
to come to the call
i watched
took some pictures
and felt a little sad
for this lonely quail
this lonely quail on the fence

calling to one side
and then the other
for he was at the end of a rope
he was exasperated
to me! to me!
ku koo ku koo

the one lone quail on a fence
calling out into a morning
as the sun rises
the wind blew
melodies haunted
yet had me smiling
in wistful comprehension

this one lone quail
touched my heart…
because alone
was where he did not want to be

SAM_0233

the wise know when

no, don’t go!
i’m just a dumb human
i know
something you’ve seen before
to avoid
cutting through water
gracefully
don’t go!
i’m sorry
sorry we are here
hurting your kind
the world cries
and we never listen

no, don’t go!
don’t hate me
see me as a danger
i only want to smile
at your beauty

it wasn’t me
i promise
wasn’t me
i only want to look on and on

don’t go….

SAM_0212a

a different kind of list

painting nails
blow drying hair
washing dishes
changing oil in a car
weeding a garden
cooking food that won’t kill you
building web pages
fixing computers
writing anything
language
fact checking
photoshopping anything
painting pictures
drawing
selling the unnecessary
comprehending irony
construction
assembly
following directions
singing

conversing
small talk
speaking in front of an audience
losing weight
keeping clothes clean
putting myself first
scheduling exercise
staying angry
dusting or vacuuming
(often enough)
giving others benefit of the doubt
resisting cakes, cookies, or candy
putting up with discourtesy
throwing or giving away unused items
doing anything on a schedule
(except making coffee each morning)
traveling or vacationing
playing the piano or any instrument
listening… am a poor listener
get frustrated easily
enjoy silence but talk too much
am sucker for sales
can’t decide on what perfume i like best
there are so many!
can’t decide on anything
don’t take advice from others

there are things i do well
and things i don’t do well
the part of me that steps aside
judges
is the part of eternity that dreams

mornings are for determining
another day
….not such a bad thing

well…. well
hole in the ground that gushes forth….
where did i put my bucket?

where did i put anything?
keeping track of existence
keeping track of myself
every moment of the now
holds a sigh
painted by things lost
lost and gone
until the only well i want
is one of contentment
one where smiles float on the surface
and no bucket is necessary
to love the experience in all of its forms

SAM_0073