polish my petal pushers and crack my baloney

to determine the tide and time of it all.
but part wants to say there is no direction

no convoluted exigency
embellished in withdrawal
through depravity and angst

starlight tells little
of the sky they occupy
names owned
tell more of the namers…..

the thing itself a particle of speculation

how to proceed?
with caution, with care
with abandon, with indiscriminate address

following the process, not the processors
–owning the nature of portents
and the downside of countless hills

do you see yourself when you awaken?
or is the day mostly within …

i believe life is more than waxing
to the wane

i think it’s about knowing how most would stop
therefore you continue onward

i think it’s about seeking approval and not needing approval at the same time

there’s no reason to fear your own thoughts
eventually they silence

nobody understands how fast a decision is made
how long it takes to say i’m sorry
how quickly a garden grows when you are not watching

nobody knows why it’s better to say “what can you do?”
than admit that you can do nothing

the best words are never spoken

highlights of a confluence
embarkment of a consecration
deliverance belongs to the end of time
but the end of time belongs only to oblivion

try as i might
my eyelids fall and i wish for peace
before rest
knowing it is my wont to scurry and worry
to pace and pounce and proclaim … before i find
myself once again

looking at my toes and thinking
numb is only a difference

part of me never understood cruelty
never saw where the stalker arrived
swelled and burst
intonations

the mirror is a beast
but rather — what a mirror becomes
soughs and sighs
partners and pilgrimage

no dusting is complete without a tear for infamy
i was ruled by nothing overtly familiar
though coldly alert

time and tenacity and telescoping perpetuity
…dawn was mastered

now i want to see how far it is to remembering where i left
the last dance that broke time
and made me deathly ill over death and its equality
to anything mistreated

birthed …. from a right and distracted somnolence
sprouted out of gripping the outskirts of a spin
to balance neatly on ruffles

at the center of every norm.

breathing the one thing no breath can repeat
offering no sacrifice but the present in all its awkwardness

resilience proceeds with caution and verve
moves with stupid and wisdom and delight
no amount of hope can halt redacted controversy
gloaming and gristing
the day looks up and ahead there is light
and warmth and laughter
ready to meet the more favored
of copious tears

stumbling onward
i am no more seen than a ghost
no more necessary than the last envelope

holding a final letter that is not meant for silence …
but for screams

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drawing the lines for sparking points of no return

READ THIS BEFORE WATCHING VIDEO

this video is put out by a right wing youtuber, please keep this in mind as you watch. this video was made by trump supporters.

it shows that they are NOT republicans — they are anarchists, and nihilists. they are saying that it is normal to have chaos and therefore, let’s create it. and so when anyone says that we should pull the nation together and join with that … i’m like, really?

thing is, since the voice is british — there is a likelihood that this video is propaganda aimed at america by british nihilists/anarchists.

i appreciate those who wish to generate the message that america must come together. but if i see any group screaming “bitch” and “lock her up!” — then ‘coming together’ means joining a lynch mob. unless i see measured change in those messages of hate, i am not inclined to feel all warm and fuzzy over citizens who are so easily swept into mob justice.

have watched for the last several months, horrified about what many in our nation intend to do if given the chance.

have watched horrified, at how easily they screamed “hang the n***er! how easily US citizens were brought to heights of ecstasy through the dream of violence.

it is NOT the nature of man. don’t let ANYONE tell you this. civilization is real. kindness is real. optimism is real. good works are real. good people are real.

the thing that isn’t real, is the extension of absolutes for the enforcement of differences. therefore generalization can only go so far, and coming together means the realization that humans aren’t perfect.

despite that understanding, and the authority of its logic–i draw the line at mob justice and racism. that is not a part of civilization, that is a part of chaos and despair. i will not come together with a group so completely removed from my own values and own belief in a government by the people, for the people, of the people.

yet believing humans are good and knowing they are good are two different things. most people are good people… but not the ones at the trump rallies. not the ones proudly sporting t-shirts, “trump that bitch.” because those are not MY people … those are YOUR people, republicans. and i truly feel you should be ashamed.

the fact that you still have the gall to refer to yourselves as conservatives, is mind numbing. that’s not only civilization going out the window — that’s sensibility being tossed onto the heap of integrity that has been burning like a tire fire.

what does it mean to sell your soul?

if somebody uses hate and racism and vulgarity to get votes from the racists, the vulgar, and those broiling with hate — to win an election for CONSERVATIVES. that is selling your soul for a win. and it doesn’t surprise me so much, as it leaves me wondering how we are going to break all those contracts you all brokered with hell.

now i never claimed to be a liberal. i’m a democrat. that means something different. i’m not a bleeding-heart hippy that you will find saying “namaste.” i’m the person that relies quite a lot on civilization remaining civil. i am a single woman that requires a society that will not attack her, simply because a man is not attached to my hip. i don’t need a keeper. what i need is an environment that does not threaten me with disrespect and overt lechery.

when you approve of a “pussy grabbing” president — you are approving of my rapist. i hope you realize that. you DON’T GET TO BE THE PARTY OF FAMILY VALUES ANYMORE. final. and since the right decided violence was ok for motivating voters, they are not allowed to decry violence by the left after the voting is done. see how that works? you take your lumps, and just be glad it’s not more widespread. i will ALWAYS remember this loss of decency was started by the right. always.

there are no words

when america decides to be fascist
there are no words

when the future is to be a superpower for harm
there are no words

when time stopped and no amount of hope is enough
there are no words

when hate is the happy of the people
there are no words

and how does prophecy arrive at doom?
there are no words

and how does integrity not stoop as low as the enemy?
there are no words

how fast can an empire find its decline?
there are no words

where can the love of a better future hide?
there are no words

the instinct to dig in
to clump and burrow in place…
there are no words

badger hunting a favorite pastime
in THIS reality
there are no words

the point of no return is now done
the finality of fate cast
there are no words

i have told my piece
had my say
given my best to show reason in the face of insanity

but now thoughts are finished
i’m sorry for this end
sorry i see more than you can imagine

sorry i did not have a way counter this evil
and i’m sorry that no song of mine
can lull the world to sleep

this is the way of conquest
this is how hate and the demeening of women will find purchase

this is the “great” of rome falling
her white monuments drowning in blood …

there are no words

you think it’s ‘typical’
and i laugh

it’s not loss spelling despair
it’s reality crashing through on so many levels
where the one lie you tell yourself
your whole life
is that you are NOT LESS FOR BEING A WOMAN

but now the boom falls
the shackles tighten
the cell is small and dark and full
of the laughs of satan…

and there are no words

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i never believed in false hope. the craving is for prophecy of good or resurgence, of fight. i’ll tell ya, this is not something i can paint in any good way. we have taken a different course entirely from our allies. that means we will soon have no allies. russia does not keep allies, they keep subjects. it will be swift and painful, or slow and painful. it will go backward now, not to any good times, but to the very bad. that’s how it works, you can only go forward for good.

so am wishing all a way to find peace and possible survival. and i will remind the right that they didn’t win, none of us won. america lost last night … lost her morality, dignity, integrity. and i’m sorry, because some lessons in reverse psychology come true. i do have one word: run.

delaying the up, down, for one sideways

to me, the library is like heaven.
there’s a hushed reverence when you enter,

the lighting is good,
you slow down almost instinctively, to explore.

it is not a through street, but a dead end
that is eternally alive with thought.

a librarian comes up to you and with a Soft voice,
will ask if they can help you find something?

get this — and it will blow your Mind — the librarian listens!
these wonderful beings actually help struggling humans find answers.

hospitals, however, are patterned after hell–
the waiting room is the EXACT same concept as purgatory;

(how could anybody miss that?) everybody hangs about
in an uncomfortable place to determine if they will be

admitted to hell. there is no slowing down; on
the contrary, every person in a hospital

is wound-up, agitated, and rushed. you feel
insignificant, forgotten, and for some reason

find yourself pining to be more sick and injured
than reality would suggest, only for the sake of

getting things over-with. there are screams and
strobing lights, as you take your entrance

exam for hell, trying to concentrate on filling out
forms; including one where the print remains so tiny,

nobody bothers to read it as they sign away their soul,
to be yet another body thrown to the eternal flames. at some point

somebody will always say, “we’re going to take good care of you!”
and then they proceed to do everything

that is the opposite to “care” and “good.”
it’s a law, and all hospitals must do this.

i think hell has the same rule,
though have heard purgatory manages to remain less crowded.

so maybe libraries should be the waiting room
for hospitals. or maybe operating rooms should be

inside of libraries? i just know that the best
way to stay out of hell is to not go there.

and i would prefer to see heaven before i die,
i really would…

always seemed like a good idea to avoid the bad in life,
it only hurts when you don’t dream.

and the easiest way to find heaven
is to wander down to your local library–

breathe in a book or two–
let wonder dissect freedom

until no master remains; and every thought that chimed true
holds death in the distance, dim recollection folding into shards

of grey matter freely multiplying externally to any black and white
(the boom and the harvest), true betterment deserves a battered hell;

life and exigency, never parted.
how does reason devise one reason to be simple?

simplicity itself lives in a graveyard, but i have marked every passage
while the world tempered only itself,

deciding Time was something that crumbles as if only idiots breathe;
that eternity should fade and subtract itself from infinity;

that Love has no equal and no opposite –no completeness.
the pain of each second will stop everything
and remember nothing … at least once.

heaven and hell are things that man makes, but what
lives after death is the sigh of forgiveness

…maybe the hope of truth that sees to better ends.

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