i spent the day writing and lost everything but the last two paragraphs

i believe in tit for tat. if i were a goddess, i’d be an old testament goddess. i don’t give or help anything unless i observe merit. have bouts of compassion at times. when see a homeless man on the corner in 100+ degree heat, and hand him a cold soda on my way back from the store. but for the most part, i’m a born and bread capitalist that believes in hard work and pulling yourself up by the bootstraps. i don’t give for the sake of charity. most of the time, i hate what money does to people. that hunger.

makes people lose sight of what’s important. this world does not own winners and losers. it is not a playground for givers and takers. it is a world of beauty and grace, found in the next day, and the next and the next. it is a world of hope, and wonder, and an infinity beyond all imagining. it is a beauty that brings one to tears, because no matter what direction we go, we are all going there together. there are no lone paths, only lonely pathmakers. it is a world that is hard to love sometimes. but you have to look at it, minus yourself.


toned on worry’s path

tumbled through
brought forth in hope
and stubbornness
don’t worry now


the world is full of angst
becomes the flag
the banner, caught
used and then
used up


no one knows my under go
left to see
and flow the rising
beside the open
slammed shut on
absent shores


begin to stretch
and burn
the day and night
away for lacks
of turn
and turn about
what is the drop?
the shout
the strength that lectures


t’was built as mine
and all that suffers
and leaves the
a spark
a first
a last
began, i took my foresight
then left forgiven minds
all souls that sigh
in winds cut down
by stronger births…


i fight for worth
and worth alone will see
all through
to yet the next
the truth
the underscore and light
after before

the sound is ever
when forever fills these voids

i bow and do not weep
there is no greater noise…



The threat to Democracy in the United States

What puzzles me most about the Trump candidacy, is why? This is a man obviously accustomed to getting what he wants (or else)–but exactly why does he want to be President?

Now over the years, I’m sure those intent on a little non-subtle brown-nosing, have exclaimed what a great President Trump would make. I’m sure they said it often. But wouldn’t any human being be able to distinguish that for what it is, a platitude stated to garner favor, rather than any type of specific truth?

And when you go from there, the waters get even more murky. Trump is spoiled and grew up in an environment where physical comfort and satisfaction are everything. Now this is based on my knowledge of those who grow up with “money.” But it’s a pretty firm psychology. Unless the person demonstrates through behavior that they certainly are NOT spoiled and instead have built solid principles and a moral foundation for their life–you can pretty much conclude that the “I want it and I want it NOW!” attitude goes under the heading “Spoiled.”

So we have a person that amassed a little bit of wealth and did so with Casinos and encouraging gambling, as well as by running a fake university, and pretty much employing enough lawyers fulltime to get whatever he wanted. And at the same time, in the pursuit of “what Trump wants” — his philosophy does not exclude “Go after their families.”

Generally, I steer clear of issues that might have me put on a blacklist. I truly do. Am not exactly in a position to even state the obvious, without having to be afraid of some kind of retribution. And that is why I am speaking out against Trump and everything he stands for. Because we as a nation cannot afford to have a President using that seat of power to enact personal vendettas and lists of those Trump will hurt. And continue to try to hurt. In every way he can. In every possible manner he can find.

Trump is about revenge. And while it is tempting to think he has decided to run for President through blackmail. That his wife or his family or someone close has really heavy dirt on him, and is using it to pressure Trump. While it’s really tempting to think that has to be the reason, and his latest wife might have thrown a tantrum and demanded to be first lady or she would tell the world what he does in the bedroom? While that is possible, it’s more likely that Trump has his list of hate this person/like that person. And he wants to take it national. He needs more power to carry out more revenge.

Trump wants to have the power to reduce anyone he sees as an enemy to dust. And it’s scary, and that is why a good number of media outlets and a good number of private US citizens, are working to destroy his bid for President. This isn’t funny anymore. Most of us that are not New Yorkers, have only seen Trump in passing over the years. Have noticed the “my name goes on everything” he has, and decided that he is crazy, and left it at that.

But now he wants to take his crazy, and put it at the head of the nation. And while we can’t afford that kind of insanity near the Whitehouse, let alone in it — what we really can’t afford is a leadership that expands power by creating a list. A leader intent on revenge. One who regularly uses that in his own business, to punish those who cross him. He will take you out. If you are not with him, you are against him. And that is how these type of rulers work. He’s ratcheting his way up the monkey ladder.

I know many pundits have likened this candidate to Hitler, to Stalin or Mussolini. And of course we get immune to that, and shake our heads about the over-the-top dramatics. But believe it or not, i think we are there. We have an actual regime trying to take control of the United States of America. A dangerous regime. One that threatens to not observe the election results, and even threatens to gather a militia and attack Washington DC when they lose.

And it’s not funny anymore. We also become immune to the notion, because that is something that happens in third world countries. That is something Turkey has to deal with, not the United States! But here we are. And that line was crossed when Mr. Trump started telling his followers that if he does not win, that means the election is rigged and that they should do something about it. He crossed a line there, and so this nation must decide how to handle a dangerous regime that is working to take power by any means it can.

I do not know why Donald Trump decided to run for President. We all laughed at the thought, and then here we are. But it’s not just Trump that is dangerous, it is the regime he has raised that will follow his bidding. And if you are not on his list of good, then you will receive retribution from the Trump regime.

Trump is dangerous. But not to the enemies of the United States. The enemies of the United States love him to pieces. They WANT to see the US dissolve in civil war. And the very strange and horrible thing about this election, is that Trump wants to see that happen, too.

It’s possible that there’s no threat and everything is fine. But we passed that stage and it isn’t fine. Not fine at all. I have no doubt that Utah is safe. The mormons, after all, run a pretty good game of power-regime themselves. And they are with Romney and against Trump. There will be no cooperation with the Trump regime even if it does work to have power elsewhere. And it’s not likely that they would ever be persuaded to play ball with Trump in the future. The mormons have this thing called ‘moral standards.’

So mostly I am concerned with the rest of the country, that does not already have a strong power element in place. And even though it could mean a democratic loss, I think the Republicans should pull Trump from the running — IF THEY CAN. That’s a big if, and I don’t know if the RNC has enough power at this point to do it even if they wanted to. I’m of the mind that IF they had the power to remove Trump, they would have by now. I don’t think they have any control, and the Trump regime is no longer under control by the Republican party. If it ever was.

And the “why” of why did Donald Trump run for President? Apparently because job of “Dictator” was not available, so he intends to create it. I don’t know how our election process has gotten to this, but I don’t think we should take the threats lightly. If Trump loses the election, he intends to take the Presidency by force. While that seems laughable, since we have the entire military might of the US army — I think we need to stop laughing. We laughed that someone like Trump would even run for President. But here we are.

given to understand 

for probationary forever
lost never a silence
ground down
forbidden upon incendiary
and inflammatory
the better part of reduction
for gravitas and

crawling onward when
forward is the shroud
the cover
sight beginning
to breach
to speak outloud

when the under treats in drifts
when the fuse returns to lift

when the craven have their way …

but what for my day
what for my day?

what is given
to under stand? how is this home?
with love so far away

to show you how this forms
i would need to bring the every
round to nothing
sit you down
and show how time was never true
or mean

between the three, the two

so therefore all
will break and shape
if mind decides
on bind
and fate forthwith
unto the furthermore …

what branch controls this score
when all of tree
shall shake?

a wonder
what souls make
and quiet pounds such pounds
to take

i was the lone because i saw no
no wit
and therefore my reduction is a price
from byte to bit
a norm
a consequence
to shudder all the round

the stand that under
takes for given


cleansed by dreams

the many thoughts that come and go
that tease the mind
more than you know….

i was sure of myself, once
now mostly sure that nothing
is permanent
and if you can’t enjoy the now
you will not enjoy the tomorrow

matter of looking

the nature of stress for needs
hopes to get done

the catch twenty twos and the no
way outs
dead ends and paths that might bring
some solution
all takes the backseat
to maintaining my back
for pain is a thing that only cripples
when it is inescapable

i want my legs
it’s not a huge request
want my legs under me,

so that walks might be long
and arduous
but not also filled
with continual
screams for endurance

what more do i have to prove?
not a lot
only that there became a time
i did not care because left that to others…

and only know that so much
of every future is manufactured
into complacency

there is a place i can go
and dive under all … angst? retrition?
i hold it away from my breath
not really numb
but a disengage … removal?
times ripen to not guide any flow
the simple
is not the simple mind…minded

the day is daring and bright
the sun is warm
the flowers are happy
the storm came in the night

and is now gone