spite returning spite

You can try to fight the dead man
When a heart no longer breathes
You can try to plant your dandelions
In sheltered beds
With stolen seeds

You can fornicate forevers
You can smoke sacred cigars
Spark to pet one donkey
Clever
Or beat the ass for being smart

For each eyeball that you opened
For each hope that you conceived
For every dress you left unbuttoned
For every pickle crunched
Each storm believed
Some people just can’t help

Being
Under their own feeble judge
The arbiter from hell
Looks you back from a mirror
Dripping
With paint from your own tired work
Give it a rest and let your

Spite
Turn inward where it belongs
Eating
Devouring the only part
The only deserving
Worms on their hook

I have not begun
And you finished because
The road was too steep
And your lazy feet left you

Hatred not mine to give or keep
Are you not blessed?
Because damned if I couldn’t
But I’m not too impressed

And damned if I won’t
Because so much rivers of non
Direction
Anger for whom
But one’s own
Reflection

While spanks the barking melody
Because good enough is never
never what it seems….
to a child

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Speaking through the gates

And I run from the turtle
Because the walking corpse talks
When you leave what breaks your heart
Behind

A balmy breeze that settles on quiet shoulders
The end of too many promises
And the beginning of one
To yourself
Becomes the bearing standard

Someday I hope to find peace
In what I want
Becoming what I need

Someday I hope
To find the reality
Maybe in your arms

Regret we all know
More than makings
More than a future
Proof inside the requiem of a broken heart

Love only real when it leaves
Because the rest of the time
I already said good-bye

Shattered ends of design never what they seem
She gave me permission
Permission!
So I left
I gave new meaning to what words find in
Departure

Because love never needed conquering

And time called me
Upon crumbled tracks of howling anger
From one essence of worship to another ruptured answer

song of the prodigal

Kicks for drama break the boundaries
When each parking lot is free
Wicked angels look for shopping carts
Broken edges
Worlds perceive
Each light has dimmed
And every patron
Runs the wandering
Wandering way home

She was just the girl on acid
The one that brushed her teeth each night
A teddy bear held oh so tight
And every prayer began just right

Petunia plots
And pineapple plans
Slide of skin
On aching sheets
Doorway demands
Steep shadows of one lonely man
A heartbeat wandering
Wandering home

Take the darkness with you
Make it live in your divides
Drink sunshine if the sun decides
Drink sorrow when it carves insides
Drink absence when absence arrives
And own belief that owns a mind

She was just the girl on acid
He’s the boy that drove her home
And when the car broke through the railing
They both found ways to leave that road

You can see the skid marks
You can breathe the dusty air
You can scream up to a hopeless sky
And slam your fists on worlds not fair

Petunia plots
And pineapple plans
Slide of skin
On aching sheets
One end for every countless man
One man for every end complete

Upon the wandering
Wandering way home

when it’s time to kick the rooster

You know when it’s quiet
And alone takes new meaning
The core of where you started
The foundation shimmers

Part of me feels the push of tears behind very tired eyeballs
And part of me never cared in the first place

I only live because breathing became hard
Hard and distracted
On somebody’s dining room table
There is an envelope
A folded piece of paper
And a pen that will never be used

On someone’s patio there is a chair
With plastic floral pattern and too much dust

And on someone’s heart there is an emptiness that I can’t afford to feel
Because we all touch god
We all stomach frozen fingers burned in place
Where the birth of stigmata simply forgot to bleed

Don’t give me your retarded bullshit
I’m the one that believed
I’m the one that needs to hold it fast
Steady and strong

Yes the night is quiet
Yes
It all makes me sad

I don’t know how it works
Where it all goes
Think perhaps I can fold myself into a few dreams
Live out each day
And not worry about you
Or them
Or them
Because have always known
That it takes strength to care
And have always known
I’m the only one that has enough

i’m sorry

but i can’t have you around

with accusations

saying i yelled

i was in the hallway late at night

walking outside to quiet darkness

i couldn’t yell

there was no room

whisper harshly

control

yeS!

always control

to be accused

ACCUSED!

of yelling

you don’t get it and not many would

I HAVE BEEN LOCKED UP FOR LESS!

no shit

the minute someone

some bloody whiny half-retarded idiot

decided that i

me

me

me

YELLED!

how could i?

i would have woken up half the building

but it’s always my word against theirs

and the crazy person always loses

behind wire bars

so i can’t afford to have you around

screaming that the sky is falling

it hurts

ithurts

it hurts!

but being shut away

on the basis of turkey lies

and mitigated spite

hurts more