how do we blink pink together?

so easy to see oneself as the origin

not as the mirror.

the reactive state, of all reacting
instead of the catalyst

can be a catalyst
but all reacting can make it seem
that the correlation is outside personal or
singular effect

odds are much higher
for an event to seem
central………….. an example:

20 people are out on the beach in the sun,
and begin to turn red

we know that is from the sun, but what if you didn’t know?

the centralized person might say “omg! i caught
a disease and turned red, and then GAVE IT TO ALL THESE PEOPLE!”

but the reason you are seeing a correlation — is not because
something that began with you, but because something
outside of EVERYONE enacted and effect within its capacity as


…………………………………… i often say “something it in the air today”

try to be distal
one thing effecting all
is actually more common than something passing along

there is anger and you wonder how much breath given to flames
and so step back….

they still rage and know it is something else
it is a frustration for an event that threatens stability
and of course, anger does that alone — yet i think
it is not bad but necessary to contest bad

to defeat a problem …. maybe there is need

i suppose those of us that depend on the norm

that hold the norm — as with me, for the sake of not
being called crazy — i must uphold “normal”

and then the hand holding of abe and i think about
how insanity starts ………….

the phallic rise oh pussy pussy

you would have to have quite an imagination, to decide a “pussy hat” looks like the nether-regions version of a pussy. i think it is closer to the ears of a kitty cat, aka pussy. men argue that it isn’t fair that they don’t get to wear a penis hat, and i’m like… omg! am i ACTUALLY hearing this?????? a joke on late night tv, ok — but an editorial and actual complaint?

do you really want us to list the number of phallic objects EVERYWHERE? ok … here goes….

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perhaps those making products are shooting for MORE BABIES to buy more products? oh the tangled webs we weave. so ok, if you want to also (on top of all this), wear a penis on your head — by all means. it’s just that we are already at over-kill level with no end in sight? and a pink cat knit hat is too much? only other thing women have is a cup … a keyhole … maybe an electric plug. so i see your pussy hat, and raise you 20 phallic symbols. after i get my shower, under the metal penis-shaped head that rains down on me …..

circus of the anti-matter stars

it is a circus at this point…. is devos ring one or ring two? ivanka ring 3?
i’m giving up. going to shed my indignity so that i can write a letter or down a beer.

trump broke the enrichment clause by promoting his daughter’s clothing line in the potus twitter. he is in violation of the constitution and is eligible to be impeached. that’s that. (would have to prove trump realized a profit, but daughter dearest i’m sure shared the love). but there are many other points of personal profit popping up, and he sure doesn’t lack for hurting other companies with his position as president, and then promoting their competitors.

impeachment seems too good for him. and then we would be stuck with pence.

then pence finishes pushing republican agenda, we will still have a huge mess to clean up once he’s done.

and the base republicans don’t get it. see, the democrats are good for the consumers, the republicans are good for the sellers. but the republicans are too stood-stupid to realize that sellers are consumers…. and they just send everything off on a spiral of instability. who knows where we will land up.

this trump insanity is obviously a game they are playing and engineered every move. jerks.

set it up for most to be grateful to have pence. set it up for their supporters to feel triumph, even though they are in the same boat with us! will be paying more for groceries just like the rest of us. but it hits those whose groceries are 30% of their income, harder than those whose groceries are 5% of their income.

so it’s a righteous middle finger to the little guy. (me)

and for what? to have an extra boat in their driveway? fools …don’t even know that you start to make people hungry, actually hungry, and they’ll just start taking from you. but beyond that, i truly believe it means they lost their own souls. will sit and gorge themselves while others starve. THE NORMAN PATTERN …. build a wall. when the wall stops working… build a moat. when the moat stops working, charge out and kill all the peasants. when the peasants stop working (because they’re dead), sit in an empty castle and complain about how life isn’t fair.

it truly makes me want to believe that mental illness is hereditary.

continued from facebook — bit of a rant — lol — eileen needs a vacation. obviously, if in third person to herself

those who know me expect a spinning out, when i go this deep, but it’s not something too much to worry over. only thing to worry on, is that i would not speak on this if i hadn’t looked at it already from every angle.

stopping a trance is not always the best thing … it is the main source of depression. i have studied that, too. taken the prescriptions that stop trance dead in its tracks and cause depression — can’t even enjoy MASH — one of my fav tv shows. so i’ve kind of observed.

tinkering is a different kind of happiness. a blending of trance and reality. why it is so safe … why so many men retreat to their garages. why so many women are more mentally ill. why the direction it all is going does not look good.

monkey see, monkey do. i try to be a big monkey, find a way around the mess to a point that is stable enough for joy to remain, while thoughts also continue to be a bit on the free side.

i trance heavy, when i dig deep. it is like spinning your body — there is no instability while spinning. it’s when you stop — and face the real world — that you fall down.

kids investigate the pattern almost naturally. so again, this is life.

but what is happening with the charismatic at the head of the nation, the usa — bothers me. because he works people up into being rude and hateful in fact, it was far too easy for russians to portray them! i don’t know what to do about it.

there is goodness in the world. there are some who rely heavily on trances — but have honorable goals. in my heart, i believe many religious bodies are that way.

mormons are in pretty heavy trance, that is the difference. you can tell them from others, by the degree of trance they are in. but it’s not that big a problem, because they are honorable. for the most part, have shown that.

so that’s about it. need to blink my eyes good, come up for air.

lot of factors go into living a “good” life. everyone furiously looking for the right tricks … it’s exhausting. going this way and that way.

leadership is important. but sometimes the best thing any leader can do, is to teach other to not follow. or at least, to not do so blindly. we have all sorts of tricks. i could tell you to look at your hands right now. half of you might already understand a version of this, passed down to you as a secret …. but regardless.

what i know, is that fear is something damaging, because it takes the mind and spins it ruthlessly. and fear then, is the biggest enemy. the way to fight fear is not up to me. it’s up to YOU. many fight it with faith.

unfortunately, what i fight it with — is there is not much more worse that they can do to me. ….. deflating, is feeling sorry for yourself. the child that sits down in a puddle of tears ….. oh … but anyway.

i am going to break off, because it is a necessary step to show the possibility. the experiment …. think pads come with physical off switches for their radios.

a method to my madness. and the i sat one day on the inside steps of centenary, many years ago. studied the irregularity of the construction. the pattern. look at the arial pattern of the wards, the shapes of the buildings …. all across salt lake. … is just interesting. the beliefs in “witchcraft” that can be a type of altering patterns. have to look at that….. at the stats and more people on mental health drugs.

i love this world. and that’s with all it’s parts …. i love beauty. and art. there are patterns of social activity that lead up to Renaissance….. have been trying to shift the bad take over via trance into a computer Renaissance . i think it’s possible. so keep at it, fellow poets and artists — those in Iran, in england, in south africa, and west africa and those in australia …… i do believe it is possible.

remember my rubarb story?

i have it. on file. somewhere around here. and plan to finish it. so i’m not going anywhere. i just need a breather. i can’t keep on keeping on. the suggestion everywhere is that you are not getting enough sleep. that is actually done as a ‘goodness’ because do need more when the quality goes downhill.

human being can’t stay angry all the time. that is why we have religion to learn to let go. ok? and it’s physiological — you actually wear out parts of the body that can’t be replenished.

so my bad, for leading an anger. but had to go up against the other side.

i know what facing evil is — my first shrink was german and really enjoyed his experiments on me in a private hospital up on the hills in ojai ….. lol …. and then the song “ojai ” …. i had to laugh.

so much beauty there. and they almost killed it. it was coming back, under Obama. that’;s what those bucking and churning on the gop right need to understand.

the world swirls … is its own type of beauty and hypnosis. don’t destroy. man cannot replicate that in any way. any of you … any of you who have gone camping …. know what i mean.

peace and love …. rest and rejuvenation.

the cat is on her back, and snoring. see….. peace is relevant. do you really CARE for your neighbor, as Christ taught? i suggest we start loving in ways we can, even if it is letting others rest.

i know those who can follow my reasoning, and those who cannot. trust me, if i write a real letter to you, that means i love you. it means i know what is in your heart — regardless of how minds might clash.

the reason i set out to change the direction of the nation — is something i keep close to myself. i simply do not have the time, would have to write so many books. like i often say, life is too short.

one thing Kim and I regret, is we don’t have enough time. and it’s not the crazy, it’s the compilation and extrapolation of direction.

many explanations for reaction, many lies and made up and things that are simply parallel correlations. anyway …………………. i just loved boogie boarding with my dog. sitting in the ocean, waiting for a wave. so much metaphor there …. i use very few metaphors in my writing. too easy.

i have a large skull, the growing pains when i was a teenager were unreal. i fully comprehend how much goes into my home, my place, and how i have a life that i get to ruminate more — very much like the family-sponsored artists of old. spoiled.

yet have worked and worked at so many jobs, i lost count. i don’t even know if some of my family don’t know how many jobs i worked, to study them. how many colleges i went to — to study them. for now…………. Utah — the state of Utah. is GOOD. they are strong enough … republican majority everywhere — but good hearts just the same. all have the same goals, for a better life. why all cam here in the first place, right? a lot to think on ….. a lot to be grateful for. whatever happens with his royal majesty at the head of the federation ……… i do know that Utah is a pretty wonderful place. a lot of god-forsaken land. and they can be ruthless. lord yes. don’t want to meat a sadist from utah! but all in all …. i am impressed. and i have faith …. in this state, in its people. and most importantly —- in the very nature of things, that give us beauty and art. like many and much — in life — can be used for good, or bad.

i know the bad of trump is a spur — but wrong place wrong time. the effect is detrimental. it doesn’t mean you win — no one wins. that is the problem. so those with influence — please fix.

you get tired of seeing me throw fits. please … understand and get it for a change. this is not terribly entertaining. it only takes me from my real work.

i need to finish my masterpiece novel about st. john’s lutheran school. i need to finish my masterpiece about traveling between dimensions. i need some time. and the last thing they are going to allow — is a computer to write with at a mental institution.

so i need a little less trump — he needs to be unceremoniously removed. that’s sort of an order….lol. with what nothing power i have. but yes, an order.

while i go on vacation.

be well ……….schultz was a genius. i studied him in depth. grandma bought me the coffee table book. when something like the superbowl gets set up and not left to chance? that’s when you all need to see what goes. any with a mind can watch the plays, it really is not so funny and i sure as heck am not going to ride herd on it. i have books to write … and painting to paint.

take care and i’ve put a lot out there … trust sheridan is printing out the blog. if not, no worries. i keep my best on the drive round my neck.

so will see friends on sunday. if you can’t follow the logic, and your mind is just going “nuts!” — that’s ok. don’t worry on it.

insanity IS catching. why we need to get trump out of the limelight. and why i need to remove myself.

snoopy is getting a vacation ..

pulling on blue



seethe with jealousy

what if this is the afterlife

heaven and hell together

and those in hell remain jealous
exist within envy
encased in a flatness
of resigned supplication

do not wish for anything
hurt the dreams of a better
future of cleaner air and no longer hard
to breathe

of a smarter people when college is free

the purpose is to destroy …beauty
because people hurting in hell are not able to
help themselves and can only feel better if
others are worse?

not liberated
or free
they must do as told to succeed
choice was waved for deceit
decision was traded for loyalty

sometimes i hold still
and feel nothing
only the time distance between every breath

memory flows
is built
with new realizations
windows of exclamation
continually and constantly learning
as now weaves timelessly into then

beauty a tree
holding earth and sky locked together

quietly listening to the universe
laugh inside out

fluctuations for good are considered meant
fluctuations for bad are considered accidents