I’m trying to analyze crazy
Bear with me
But like with McGowan last night
I know that state
I have two explanations…
one, is that it is part of being a channel to a
Earth spirit of some sort
Tapping in to a different network
Of some kind
But the other explanation
Is that it’s a delayed childhood development
that what we call “mania”
Is actually a delayed childhood development
In some ways, the mind playing catch up
Certain functions just didn’t come online earlier
So like with McGowan … children will notice
That all the men are in these stoic colors
And that social norms limit
What people wear
And then they will reconcile that somehow
In many ways, a decision
To tow the line with convention or not
The teenage years where those decisions reach an apex
But in delayed development,
The child didn’t notice the men dressed blandly
It didn’t register
Or if it did,
It had to be sidelined
Because more important things were happening
Like with me
I had to deal with my parent’s death
I lost a whole chunk of observational childhood time
Because I was busy trying to figure out death
And it’s not like religion ever had very good answers
To the why of things (no offense, it’s noble to try)
Ok…. so follow me here….
The shelved childhood observations come back later in life
There would be a trigger
But depending on how much was shelved
If it all comes back at once
There’s an overwhelming need to detail it all.
Not so much to have the answers yourself
But to take ALL that processing time….
And convert it into teaching, as a type
Of altruistic venture
What you have learned…from the mull.
And the only problem is….. That most of the time
That sort of compacted processing
Comes off as mania, as crazy … because they are only great revelations to the person doing the talking, to the person doing the processing. And of course, the collective form of that is like the hippie beat parties, the stoned ones that go into a different processing phase and won’t remember the conversations later. In the morning it’s all gone–but a sense of completion is felt.
Wowed with your own thoughts ….
Without realizing that detailing a problem more doesn’t solve it.
I really like a line from “The Big Bang Theory” where Sheldon says to Penny: “Is there a station coming up where I can board your giggling train of thought?”
Complex strings of logic are important. And they can be creative.
And i don’t think it’s wrong
I think what is wrong is to constantly drug up and interrupt
A process that might need to come to its own conclusion
I say that as a person who has been interrupted many times….
And then you have to start over
And then they tell you that your “illness”
Is cyclical…. which makes just about much sense as believing
Those who manic are channeling the great earth spirit… or possessed.
So I believe it’s a delayed childhood development
The triggers are demortia spur … (like I coined previously in one writing.)
The threat to life …. the trigger of survival.
And the physical part of it is the lack of sleep
And lack of food
But also, the lack of security.
Security that often can only be found
Within an inclusion by others… community… family, friends.
The more crazy you go, the more excluded you become…. so THAT part is cyclical.
Culminating in a spin or lack of grounding, and what would almost be a desperate re-processing … a reverting in some ways…. to that observational childhood state. Rehashing what was never reconciled.
Nobody gave an adequate explanation.
And I do think it comes down to missing chunks of education … though being raised by teachers leaves me to think everything involves education somehow.
But how many of us say…. “If I only knew then what I know now.”
So I don’t think it’s a terrible thing. Mania or insanity or whatever you want to call spin because of its disconnection.
I think it needs to be treated as a stage of life for some. It is certainly a stage that is currently more acceptable socially in males than it is in females.
Males manic all the time, and it manifests as aggression. Doesn’t key in to the verbal centers. Only males that do have their childhood delayed development key into the verbal centers, are deemed manic or insane.
So for one thing, society…. our culture…. places far too much evaluation of other members, upon language and how they communicate. Men often deal with it by not talking at all. We have the saying that is very popular–“Better to remain silent and let them think you are stupid, than to open up your mouth and remove all doubt.”
It’s not wrong. It’s just a little twisted. The reality is that it’s better to talk and rely on trust, than it is to remain silent and remove all doubt that you are not trustworthy. That’s twisted, too. The end part, is “than it is to remain silent and remove all doubt that you are not interested in understanding another human being.” It’s just not very catchy.
And I can’t pass that by, without saying that the follow-though on that, is it becomes more socially acceptable to use other people, rather than to care about them. So maybe less idioms about not getting to know each other, would be a good thing. *snark snark snarky alert*
The more focused on language, the more art. Crazy people are famously artistic….. because why? Verbal doesn’t cut it.
There is too much to be processed, and put into words.
And the connection… the community connection with others… is lacking.
So not only do you wish you knew then what you know now…but there is an abundance of singular knowing, and a lack of–or distancing from–collective comprehensions.
Now….. I’ve worked to get the understanding made live, with the term “gaslighting” so that people in general would have an awareness of those points where others, sometimes unknowingly, oppress others by invalidating them.
In some ways, it’s disturbing to me that that was brought up by McGowan …. as one of the elements in her “catch-up loop.”
It’s not about me.
Believe me, I tell myself that a dozen times a day.
But ideas can be potent, and there needs to be at least some feelings of responsibility. Not to mention that often times,
It’s the medium. It’s the environment that will spark the same revelation across the board in many at the same time.
So to always think a revelation comes exclusively from yourself …is a point of arrogance.
It’s also a pathway to madness.
The insanity found in most religious leaders.
The start of movements or cults or religions are often collective revelations. Instigated by environmental factors.
So anyway…. my main point, is that I believe mania or that brand of crazy….. is a delayed childhood development phenom.
Related to speech development.
Caused by teaching children to speak too early.
Not enough silent observational time…. so it happens later after connected to the speech centers. Sometimes much later, depending on how much gets shelved, and needs processing.
The cause of teaching children to speak too early, is my summation. It’s definitely only in the hypothesis stage.
But I believe, thanks to Baby Einstein … we are going find out rather soon, how developing language too early might effect mental health in an adult.
It’s possible there is no absolute. In that, going really really early, would also miss the window of causality, as well as going really really late… in the teaching of language. But it also might have to do with quantity levels, rather than time parameters.
It is also fair to note that children who grow up bilingual, rarely have signs of mental instability as adults. Their only issue is that when humans are collectively spinning, they don’t.
Mass insanity is real–you take part in it every time an audience begins clapping. Every time a band gets people to start dancing. Those are COLLECTIVE spins. Collective manic. As long as everyone is doing it, it’s ok.
That’s where the rub is, of course.
Oh well….. there are things that can be done, I believe, to limit the number of those who have trouble in the future. But I also believe that IF mental illness is not divorced from the money-making machine that it is for the healthcare industry…. we are just going to see a lot more of it.
All I have said and concluded, might be already known and played. You just never know, in this world. Greed is like that.
Evil for the sake of profiting some at the expense of others. It’s not like we don’t see that in all walks of life. And business.
In fact, the absolute horror of that revelation was one of my own delayed childhood development “spin” times.
And that is key. Make no mistake, that the emotion felt during spin, is horror.
Getting people seduced to horror, reveling in it in movies, is not an answer. It only delays the delayed development. Sets the the revelation horror to a higher bar.
Eh…. maybe. I think I’m grasping at straws as my train of thought tries to find its station.
Lower the language development in early childhood.
For those experiencing mania or who are spinning …knock them out. An injection of phenobarbital, IV for fluids, feed them good when they wake up. Send them home.
Locking them up so you get to watch them together bounce off of each other, and make fun of them….is not good. It’s cruel. Cruel and unusual punishment to those who committed no crime.
Using them (those spinning, divorced from collective processing) to experiment on the ten thousand ways you can modify human behavior with drugs … is cruel. It speaks more about those doing the experiments, than the ones experimented upon.
And so that’s that.
Now I’m going to eat cake. Well, it’s really a pan of cornbread I made the other day, but you get my gist.
Don’t make fun of those trying to process the evil and inconsistencies of this world….. it’s a LOT. You should be handing out medals for their effort. My message to Rose Mcgowan…. is it IS brave. Brave and dangerous. And necessary.
But also, your sisters are dicking with you, Rose. Some people think it’s funny to feed the self-importance of others. The ones you can trust are those who make you feel humble.
The next level is waiting. And so is that cornbread. And home. And a reality that has a foundation. One I found all by myself, with a little bit of help from those that went before. Tradition.
The pan that is dented, and well used, that was my grandmother’s. The bread I made with a pinch of this and that. And a box of Jiffy mix (I’m no martyr).
The love I can feel, even now, that brings a quiet tear for the loss of the one person who always seemed to understand. My keeper? She loved me. That’s all I need to know. That’s all any child needs to know about their parent.
Psychology …. mental illness…..is not always the parent’s fault. Sometimes it takes a village.