Slavery

yes we know you had 4
when houses were ten thousand a pop
before it became more important to own
a mortgage than a home

before children came with a price tag on their head
one that governed how much opportunity you can afford
to buy for each child

winners and losers
the great race to save nuts and
propagate

rising levels of greed surpass
rising levels of home prices
and the question of the day becomes
not how long can we keep this up?
but how long before reality catches up
to the american dream …

because something real and desperate
is more meaty than something fake and sure

gnaw the bones:
i have lived and loved
and seen the best and worst in humans

nothing dismays quite so much
as the bragging over children
and how that somehow equates to
a better view of the self

i don’t understand how that works
never did
it never computed to me how my individual
existence is supposed to augment
the existence of those who spit me out …

it just doesn’t matter
once you are an individual
your accomplishments (or lack thereof)
are your own

and some of us choose not to be
a mortgage, or own our children
because in the end
all you own is your time … taken to help
or to hurt

i have lived and loved
and seen the best and worst in humans
but the thing that gets me
is so many processes are bought and sold
that ceased to hold any value long ago

what gets me
is i can’t force anyone to understand
the dangers of envy

i can’t design a way to relegate the absolutes of pride
all i can do …
is say i’m so proud that you’re proud

while i feel a deep sorrow
that living must be vicariously performed
until levels of pride equal levels of emptiness
and i mourn

i wonder at what has been taken away
what opportunities
what love and pride in self-made construct

pity overwhelms me
and then guilt – for what part
of my own bloodline saw to it that
singular/individual dreams were quashed?

i hope the world holds better
for those needing pride in their children
i truly do
because i NEVER wanted anyone
EVER to say “i’m proud of you.”

i always thrilled more
to hear
“Good God, what have you done now?”

And i never know the answer to that.
It always comes out in the wash

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