she says hi, with a smile
that reminds me of my past kindnesses.
at the Wal-Mart checkout:
the location of bated deliverance,
the line where every bit of Busy
combats every dose of camaraderie.
the walk is not unpleasant. i dash across
legs pumping with the knowledge
that drivers pay less attention to
walkers at intersections.
the grayness of the street, the blueness
of the sky.
the freedom of thought, to see the grayness,
and the blueness.
above the walker, certainly toes are forgotten.
the steps a matter of seeing their difference,
for the wheel that moves faster, and buzzes by;
like giant insects creating a disturbing wind…
so i cancel them.
unseen, it is just me, and the sky;
the blocks to the store.
where the smile of the clerk, reminds
me of my past kindnesses.
soothes the empty hollow,
that kindness has been avoiding for days.
all hungers to scream inside a difference.
the longing–the wish to dive
into similarity is so strong,
so unbelievably churning.
i question whether my differences are necessary.
i hold them to the light,
see through them like they aren’t there, yet
vision seeks the map as well…like the vein of a leaf.
then i walk home,
with a bigger smile than i had
before i walked to the store.
you plant the seed and it rewards
at a later time, in another way.
life is not fruitless, the bits and
dose remain sanely on the plane.
flowers will blink from outside stalls,
but they also tenderly wave as the cars pass.
maybe breeze is breeze;
or maybe in some very fundamental way,
movement is collective or singular…
and the earth is big, while
my journey — so very, very small.