continued from facebook — bit of a rant — lol — eileen needs a vacation. obviously, if in third person to herself

those who know me expect a spinning out, when i go this deep, but it’s not something too much to worry over. only thing to worry on, is that i would not speak on this if i hadn’t looked at it already from every angle.

stopping a trance is not always the best thing … it is the main source of depression. i have studied that, too. taken the prescriptions that stop trance dead in its tracks and cause depression — can’t even enjoy MASH — one of my fav tv shows. so i’ve kind of observed.

tinkering is a different kind of happiness. a blending of trance and reality. why it is so safe … why so many men retreat to their garages. why so many women are more mentally ill. why the direction it all is going does not look good.

monkey see, monkey do. i try to be a big monkey, find a way around the mess to a point that is stable enough for joy to remain, while thoughts also continue to be a bit on the free side.

i trance heavy, when i dig deep. it is like spinning your body — there is no instability while spinning. it’s when you stop — and face the real world — that you fall down.

kids investigate the pattern almost naturally. so again, this is life.

but what is happening with the charismatic at the head of the nation, the usa — bothers me. because he works people up into being rude and hateful in fact, it was far too easy for russians to portray them! i don’t know what to do about it.

there is goodness in the world. there are some who rely heavily on trances — but have honorable goals. in my heart, i believe many religious bodies are that way.

mormons are in pretty heavy trance, that is the difference. you can tell them from others, by the degree of trance they are in. but it’s not that big a problem, because they are honorable. for the most part, have shown that.

so that’s about it. need to blink my eyes good, come up for air.

lot of factors go into living a “good” life. everyone furiously looking for the right tricks … it’s exhausting. going this way and that way.

leadership is important. but sometimes the best thing any leader can do, is to teach other to not follow. or at least, to not do so blindly. we have all sorts of tricks. i could tell you to look at your hands right now. half of you might already understand a version of this, passed down to you as a secret …. but regardless.

what i know, is that fear is something damaging, because it takes the mind and spins it ruthlessly. and fear then, is the biggest enemy. the way to fight fear is not up to me. it’s up to YOU. many fight it with faith.

unfortunately, what i fight it with — is there is not much more worse that they can do to me. ….. deflating, is feeling sorry for yourself. the child that sits down in a puddle of tears ….. oh … but anyway.

i am going to break off, because it is a necessary step to show the possibility. the experiment …. think pads come with physical off switches for their radios.

a method to my madness. and the i sat one day on the inside steps of centenary, many years ago. studied the irregularity of the construction. the pattern. look at the arial pattern of the wards, the shapes of the buildings …. all across salt lake. … is just interesting. the beliefs in “witchcraft” that can be a type of altering patterns. have to look at that….. at the stats and more people on mental health drugs.

i love this world. and that’s with all it’s parts …. i love beauty. and art. there are patterns of social activity that lead up to Renaissance….. have been trying to shift the bad take over via trance into a computer Renaissance . i think it’s possible. so keep at it, fellow poets and artists — those in Iran, in england, in south africa, and west africa and those in australia …… i do believe it is possible.

remember my rubarb story?

i have it. on file. somewhere around here. and plan to finish it. so i’m not going anywhere. i just need a breather. i can’t keep on keeping on. the suggestion everywhere is that you are not getting enough sleep. that is actually done as a ‘goodness’ because do need more when the quality goes downhill.

human being can’t stay angry all the time. that is why we have religion to learn to let go. ok? and it’s physiological — you actually wear out parts of the body that can’t be replenished.

so my bad, for leading an anger. but had to go up against the other side.

i know what facing evil is — my first shrink was german and really enjoyed his experiments on me in a private hospital up on the hills in ojai ….. lol …. and then the song “ojai ” …. i had to laugh.

so much beauty there. and they almost killed it. it was coming back, under Obama. that’;s what those bucking and churning on the gop right need to understand.

the world swirls … is its own type of beauty and hypnosis. don’t destroy. man cannot replicate that in any way. any of you … any of you who have gone camping …. know what i mean.

peace and love …. rest and rejuvenation.

the cat is on her back, and snoring. see….. peace is relevant. do you really CARE for your neighbor, as Christ taught? i suggest we start loving in ways we can, even if it is letting others rest.

i know those who can follow my reasoning, and those who cannot. trust me, if i write a real letter to you, that means i love you. it means i know what is in your heart — regardless of how minds might clash.

the reason i set out to change the direction of the nation — is something i keep close to myself. i simply do not have the time, would have to write so many books. like i often say, life is too short.

one thing Kim and I regret, is we don’t have enough time. and it’s not the crazy, it’s the compilation and extrapolation of direction.

many explanations for reaction, many lies and made up and things that are simply parallel correlations. anyway …………………. i just loved boogie boarding with my dog. sitting in the ocean, waiting for a wave. so much metaphor there …. i use very few metaphors in my writing. too easy.

i have a large skull, the growing pains when i was a teenager were unreal. i fully comprehend how much goes into my home, my place, and how i have a life that i get to ruminate more — very much like the family-sponsored artists of old. spoiled.

yet have worked and worked at so many jobs, i lost count. i don’t even know if some of my family don’t know how many jobs i worked, to study them. how many colleges i went to — to study them. for now…………. Utah — the state of Utah. is GOOD. they are strong enough … republican majority everywhere — but good hearts just the same. all have the same goals, for a better life. why all cam here in the first place, right? a lot to think on ….. a lot to be grateful for. whatever happens with his royal majesty at the head of the federation ……… i do know that Utah is a pretty wonderful place. a lot of god-forsaken land. and they can be ruthless. lord yes. don’t want to meat a sadist from utah! but all in all …. i am impressed. and i have faith …. in this state, in its people. and most importantly —- in the very nature of things, that give us beauty and art. like many and much — in life — can be used for good, or bad.

i know the bad of trump is a spur — but wrong place wrong time. the effect is detrimental. it doesn’t mean you win — no one wins. that is the problem. so those with influence — please fix.

you get tired of seeing me throw fits. please … understand and get it for a change. this is not terribly entertaining. it only takes me from my real work.

i need to finish my masterpiece novel about st. john’s lutheran school. i need to finish my masterpiece about traveling between dimensions. i need some time. and the last thing they are going to allow — is a computer to write with at a mental institution.

so i need a little less trump — he needs to be unceremoniously removed. that’s sort of an order….lol. with what nothing power i have. but yes, an order.

while i go on vacation.

be well ……….schultz was a genius. i studied him in depth. grandma bought me the coffee table book. when something like the superbowl gets set up and not left to chance? that’s when you all need to see what goes. any with a mind can watch the plays, it really is not so funny and i sure as heck am not going to ride herd on it. i have books to write … and painting to paint.

take care and i’ve put a lot out there … trust sheridan is printing out the blog. if not, no worries. i keep my best on the drive round my neck.

so will see friends on sunday. if you can’t follow the logic, and your mind is just going “nuts!” — that’s ok. don’t worry on it.

insanity IS catching. why we need to get trump out of the limelight. and why i need to remove myself.

snoopy is getting a vacation ..

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