the best laid under-planning of ticks

it happened when i looked at tomorrow as not here yet
up until then, i attacked eternity like a general
plans repeated and made real by necessity
the sheep was a list
just the one day hour by hour
what should be accomplished
what could wait
no sleep until plans were done

you didn’t know me then
just as cynical
now i understand my cynicism

i think about returning to those ways
the innocence of one day at a time
groping forward

touching the stones that would build a castle

prying them apart
resetting reality
focus

now for sleeping
i tell myself to sleep
and obey myself in the space of a minute

turned downward
buried

no plan for tomorrow to make tomorrow come

… it shows up, anyway

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