croons the sawdust

who invented mail?
the person who decided to put words
on little pieces of paper
and send them to each other

did they see this coming?
up to the ears in mail
pieces of paper to save
store
because 10 years from now
you will need that statement

who’s idea?
did they have any clue how badly
it’d mushroom?

i think i would like to not have an address
just to not get mail

you know it’s the one thing that goes away
when in the hospital
probably the only reason
a pressure stops

i was thinking of making confetti at one point
or putting it all in a big vat and
making it into note-paper
melt all those words down
to form blank sheets

this is an exceedingly crazy world
so many directions taken that fell apart

mail is definitely one of them
the degree of desperation

the holding an envelope

the desperation in creating post cards
trying to stem the tide
the most we can now do is

look at the map and the clearings
the number of clearings in the forests

trees being felled…..
an unstoppable thing
the mail
a crazy thing
all these papers and words
stamped obligations

i wish i could just float on the top
and not care
it’s been asked before, though
and is the same or more

more …. ads and coupons
terrible thing, coupons

tricks
more tricks
they fall for it
or they know how bad and push
push …. exhausting

i’m ill, by the way
something in my gut
that won’t end
a stone a blockage a ….well it’s
messing me up

half delirium half the time now

but even so i’m more happy alone
i don’t know how to explain that
and get the pity to end … got any idea
how many dang FIGHTS i’ve been in? any idea?
a “man” is not the answer
not when all it is is fights and drama
and ten thousand ways to hurt each other

i like peace
i like sipping my coffee
and reading the paper
(on an electronic tablet)

i like getting up when i want-to
stretching
having the time to stretch

i even like talking to myself
it really isn’t the end of the world
if you mumble a few words

i think crazy would be NOT talking to yourself
and a pet helps
but i’m going to see if i can go the distance
without

peace is better than fighting
and being used as a punching bag
…..banging bag

being used, used used …

i’d just rather not,
thank you very much

i’d rather have some
dignity left

even if it’s only respect that i have for myself

now be a dear,
and get the mail for me
the trees…
the bits of soul

bits of soul….saved
boxed
rubber-banded

piles of abject nonsense
stolen time
none of us get back

never returned
there is no answer
but to throw up your hands!
go ‘oh for Pete sake!’

and walk away … get away
find an answer that will take this ballast
and put it in the hull where it belongs

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