not to be broken

to a large extent
it makes me
want to renounce
support
for any religious
adherence
after attending
revivalist-sort session
in arizona that
more like
a convention than
church
after observing prayer
time used
to testify on
belief
in guardian angels

what, having God there
isn’t good enough?

so myself
find dejection
when no real beef
with conventional
Christianity

it’s what comes out
of opening that
door

and find myself
spouting prayers
then the mind
going, “sure,
ask for help
from the invisible
guy in the sky!”

faith shaken?
not so much, it is
faith in man
i’m having trouble
with

stupid and his dog spot

the never-ending
pile
of consequence

(wherefore art thou greed, oh greed oh greed)

depression
at its finest
with a need
to see
better possibility

but what i see
is the amount
necessary
to stem and change
course

what i see
is problem
after problem
in designs
gone haywire

once upon a time
i believed what i
was told
then i
realized

people enforce
benefits
to self
over benefits
in truth

once upon a time
i was young
now
getting old
despite myself

wondering

if even what
told
to WANT
what told to
pursue

is not the best
never was
and start over

start over
building

self
belief
structure

so that the day
can be open
to happiness

open to
acceptance

i truly worry
that all is my
mind’s creation

i truly do
yet i keep hope
faith
that there is no
alone
and that perception
remains
jointly held

if not jointly
felt

it’s not even
that i mind
a self-construct
for the tenets
of reality

what i mind
is the limitation

for
wonder
awe

and

new

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