ambiguity of chess

he wanted to be a hero
so he hated heroes
….a boiling and bubbling jealousy

she wanted to be skinny
so she hated thin people
….a twisted and limited perception

they wanted to be rich
so they hated rich people
…. an enforced and humiliating squalor

they divorced
she died from diabetes
he got incredibly fat

****

still cried when he spoke about her
my part?
i dated him after the divorce
but he took her to see Titanic

it was on HBO this week
the sinking ship
the love story about sacrifice
and heroes
a wealth so grand it sank

so i parsed degrees of envy
and deemed them hopeless
clouds
silence
woven desire focused on the ‘not there’
hurt blossoming from
perceptual emptiness

distractions on living single?
hey, it’s no parlor trick stumbling in absolutes
complexity adorned
in solitary points of looking forward

sympathy avoids catastrophe
and me?
i envy heroes just little bit
i hate skinny people just a little bit more
he wanted respect
she wanted love
i suffer from a never ending thirst for knowledge
and beginnings

we learn that people do not always see
other sides to their emotional options
we discover that traps are incidental
and cages sink into the obligatory

my child’s soul realized long ago
that you can’t hate what you hope
to be
those circles tighten and we are
always lost on a ride like that

pity?
pity doesn’t belong dunked in an ocean
there are many answers to disease
those quiet eruptions

i don’t feel good about Titanic
that’s for sure
never forgave the walking talking imbecile
all that willingness to hurt a poor struggling dreamer
like me
my opposite to forgiveness is an edict
ask those dams that stretch forever

see, that terrible man wanted to be a hero
and the bafoon couldn’t even save me from himself
simple answers that come with caring
the smaller piece desires complicated facets
in a broken system that could never break me

we all bathe in nuances of competition
as minds breathe emotion
hearts pump their endless debate

but mine reaches for quiet
for that sense of purpose
i suppose i have my wishes
but the greatest achievement
has been to decide
that all of life is peppered with its various champions

and the only thing that matters is i still move

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4 thoughts on “ambiguity of chess

  1. ‘but mine reaches for quiet
    for that sense of purpose
    i suppose i have my wishes
    but the greatest achievement
    has been to decide
    that all of life is peppered with its various champions

    and the only thing that matters is i still move’—Powerful write, a tale of resilience

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