beyond silence

the best day
is when i hunt through my brain
and it is blank
no turmoil
no pain goading thoughts along
could call nothingness peace
but it’s more like living apart
from exigent design
it’s more like acceptance
a tugging world so heavy
to exhale and let the weight
press me to stillness

i suppose my continuance surprises me
to awake without a yawn
find the day already alive
people walking to work
gardeners running machines
that don’t clamor in my head
denial protects me
jaw not clenched
writing not hurried
life seeming to take its course
very little edge
and very little need to worry
the bearded man scowls as he pushes the mower
there is almost no breeze
i recall the smell of cut grass
peppered throughout memory

sip my coffee
a ritual of contentment
thoughts a blank
as worries of the world
dance around the exterior
of what?
the exterior of my concern
past present future
somehow every complexity
made it to this moment
where i can close my eyes
with a whisp of a smile
for how it all remains



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