to be tied to a saint

people want to believe
they have a life before their birth
because combined with
eternal life after death
that makes no beginning
and no end

alpha and omega and so they
are gods themselves
in their own personal universe

the reason mormon theology
enforces “life before life”
because it reinforces
the ideology of man becoming
supreme ruler of their own planet
and yet no one asks
if everybody leads, who is to follow?

capitalism versus socialism

the only real thing being whether
leadership is strong or weak

see i don’t understand
because if you, your self as a human…
IF you must have a beginning somewhere
then why not just at birth?

why not see life as a beginning
with or without no end?
why can’t Jesus have a beginning at birth?
if not, then what in heck are we celebrating Christmas for?
why can’t God be on his own
with the holy spirit during creation,
and then Jesus CAME OUT of God
like the child from any parent?
did your children exist in you
before you had them?
then you better blame your son
for when you crashed your car
at 16…. and you blame yourself
for making your great great grandfather
go on a gold dig in sacramento. 
but that is the fault then of 120 great great

and at that point i throw up my hands
and say gee, let’s simplify things
rather than complicate them
just so YOU
can believe you have no beginning and end
just so YOU can have fantasies
of being God…. which
really only flourish in suppressed
societies where the individual
feels they have little or no power
over the course of events

so it’s not that i “disagree” that
Jesus was there in the beginning at creation…
it’s that i see the CHANGE in belief
(because i REMEMBER what was taught
in sunday school 40 years ago…. )
so it is the change that interests me,
the NEED for change from
Jesus was born, to Jesus always existed….

it then justifies believing that one self
always existed
and then moves into a christianity
that is more like belief in reincarnation

and i do not disagree with reincarnation

i just figure
if something must have a starting point
why not just start it at your birth and be done with it?
better the devil you know….

the fear of death
of course instigates philosophies
of eternal life
so the less a person fears death
the less is their need to believe in eternal life

that is shaky enough ground
to be going i have a point of birth,
but i will go on forever some way with no death
yet believing in eternal life
helps the individual not fear death…
so it is a perpetual motion machine…
back and forth
fearing death less
fearing it more….
tick tock

yet then to add onto that, each human was in the state
of forever before birth
this life is just a way station…
it takes away the tock

it reinforces the process of no action
because you think
you have all the time in the world

but you don’t.

was Jesus with God the father
at the time of creation?
because i was not there, either

we are making up time lines
to enforce instability
within a belief system

that is just stupid
you add to strengthen
not to weaken

so i’m done
if you all don’t see that
then bugger it all

i’m going to make up
realities that everyone rides purple unicorns when they die
and everyone gets ice cream and watches
saturday morning cartoons

it’s too much, see?
if three in one, is actually just one

then why have the three?

i don’t think that’s an unfair question
and i don’t mind everybody
having their made up ideas of reality
when minds cannot grasp REASON
but for heaven’s sakes have your mission
make a little more sense
or you defeat the entire purpose
of COMMON belief…. which is
the socialization
of mankind
into concerted effort.

every one is going alone
with own versions of belief (tick tick tick)
and there is the thing
that we are making up
differences that don’t exist

are catholics different than mormons?
no because they all
use a belief system to get what they want

i am only a christian
because it has lead enough
simple people to simply do the right thing

which is to be kind to others

but some know how to do that
while knowing they have a beginning
and have an end
life is about each moment of kindness

if God so loved the world,
and had Jesus with Him the whole time,
why didn’t He send Jesus to save mankind sooner?

easy enough to drum up an answer to that
all in good time

look…. it’s about doubt and reassurance

if you want to believe you have known me forever
and that we always had ties
i’m ok with that.  but i know i was born
in 1963, the same year that kennedy died
i know that i am just a part
of a bigger moving mountain
of mankind
and i know that when my time is ended
what i believe has absolutely no effect
on the reality within the outcome of my death

you might believe you can touch the sky
but you’re not going to do it without a plane

my god is three in one
not one that sometimes becomes three

my god has no beginning and no end
but i definitely do

my god does not hold existence together
but created existence to hold itself
in a state where reality molds human kindness…

and that comes through struggle
and faith
in a direction that has enough troubles
while going just the one way… from start
to non-finish

what i’m saying is no, Jesus did not create the world
because a smart god
would have foregone making metal
and prevented the spikes that caused his death

see how many questions you are opening this up to?
i just find it unbelievable
how no one looks ahead
how no one sees the questions of a child

things in life fall into patterns
but patterns are not necessarily
there before fallen into

please ignore my rantings
there are greater things in heaven and earth
and i laughed just now
when auto correct changed “rantings” to “tantrums”
and that’s all from a creation of man….
a computer program
a computer programmer that made me laugh
but god works in mysterious ways

and that’s the point


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