timeless is a memory

large “thunk” early this morning
as popped my back into place
brain feels like released
from a vise
breath comes easier
not squirming inside
trying to remove consciousness
from misery

will it be one day this time?
two?
when young it was the moments of love
wanting to capture and freeze
in time

now i just want to hold on
to days
where pain fades
when i can smile with peace…
rather than forcing a grin
to override tenacious polity

cross my legs and sigh
sip coffee and think
of all the needs to escape
what it means to find life unbearable
how moments seal us to where we are
or where we cannot be…..

beauty in the birds
fluttering for morning seed
an old woman walking her dog
croons and speaks to it
she wears a hat

the woman
not the dog
the dog wags its yellow tail
birds flutter away
only to return

oh it’s good to not smile
from around pain ridden eyes!
to inhale and exhale
without exigency

to see something in this day
rather than just getting through it

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