bound on stardust

day three of living without pain
still needing to adjust the back some
but infinitely better
have to be careful
that the relief from pain
doesn’t cause a refractive psychosis
the biggest change
is the less irritable
no more mountains out of mole hills

meanwhile the graphics have stopped working correctly
on Windows 10 due to a new Nvidia driver for 10
that has proven to be a bad driver
so i have to get my hands on a copy of
Windows 7
which was the original os on the laptop

i put my feet up
sit in my chair
and no pain
it is just a miracle and i must
keep this going somehow
all the while afraid
i will wake up tomorrow
pinched and twisted

so to focus on the now
be thankful for the now
and today will find answers for
the laptop
will make her good as new
then industry will find another to repair
as back up

plan B
always have plan B
yet look for the day
when plans are not necessary

keep tomorrow whole
is there too much worry?
know I’m lucky
for have reduced life to
next to no responsibility
seemed the better plan

it’s not easy when you make yourself your own doctor
what choice did i have?
when doctors fail time and again
have to take matters into your own hands

the only thing is that function has to stay
at a minimum level

there is no complete abandonment
i never had trouble with that
main thing i could never stand
was others believing I’m weak
when for me

there is no such thing
i always just find another way
so i better get my day started
maybe the washing machines will be free
so i can get laundry done
see i hate that there is a human being
that hogs both all day
that’s why there are two
not for you to hog two
but so that others could also
and that gets me mad
that right there is what i see
is wrong with the world
it’s not just the degree
of selfishness
but the inability
to use their heads

i wish it didn’t make me angry
that it didn’t matter
symptoms of bigger problems….
and where’s the doctor?

I’m out to lunch
and the rest of the crew
has flown the coop
yet i see hope sometimes
and that is the thing….you
either focus on the good
or the bad
comes down to perception
and how the harder road
is not always the right path

it’s harder to forgive
so i say maybe i shouldn’t make that my job


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