morning light burden

i woke up disoriented
on a scene where i couldn’t find my car
it was broken
and i was coming from a
talk show taping
where had to find my earrings
in a pocket
put them on in time
was about food and getting
produce to families
but i couldn’t find the car
looking for old ones i used to own
i had to bow out
wake up with no

this world
my world
now feels like a tin can
rattling and loud
the sun is risen too long
day when it should be night

i furiously do the dishes
fix coffee
and contemplate my own drive

how many thoughts are empty?
i hate this feeling
it’s like grasp is all on the surface
no wider comprehensions
no wilder comprehensions
growth of its own accord

some eyes i wish i did not know
it is to understand despair
the nuance of little forgiven
for its curiosity

so to relive sleep and reawake in mind
reverse to a different day than this
possession nine tenths of the law
don’t mind the mumble
where does the journey lead?
i spend a lot of time looking at whys
the format of explanation
living up to parental expectation
grew me into a bundle of questions answered
looking for greater meaning
that explore part what removes
sink holes of despair
dot many lives and i forget
most see through a different lens
most have not spent time studying
the cells of a leaf
to see that life is not repetitive perfection
how the angles create themselves
to fit the larger mold

the application of grateful spirit
how many times to rise above
or sink below
hold breath
see hope

some things i wish into later
is life a prison?
first have to define free
and free is action to observe
on self made terms
fitting your hope to the mold
pushing it to the best bounds
hollow spirit is a growth of despair
and can only point out the path
knowing their journey is long
so long there is guilt for requesting
a better view

is it learning?
wanting to gain insight
how things work
love of clockwork placement
none should be required to grow faith
on mere consequence
yet how to shape minds ready to
find the answers
rather than despair in their own circumstance?
impression of self

how do you treat yourself well?
underlying demand must be simple

strong is the least complicated churn
no arrogance
for to scorn is to forget origins
to forget other paths not taken
the soul can handle sorrow

hope for another
for the other person
regret for the other
views on the inside remain the same
in the bad places…

they are no view at all

there is little comfort returning to my safe
understandings of self and world
they hinge on not one thing
but many holding an accuser such as i….
what is triumph?  to find out
to do
so i hunt for explanations
why in perfected indolence
will sit with my coffee
and sink below sorrow….. inside
if i did not
i would not be me
and is not over me
it is guilt
that my spirit is free and so many are chained
stuck in paths
condescending? maybe
stubborn clench on imperialistic find
i hurt in wondering….. is this way better?

all i can say is i am ready to help
ready to give
ready to smile

that is my spot where i fort
…. not in the despondency of an own life
or presence
but in the point where a human being will do what they can
or what you may
the rest is no room for heroes

i hate heroes
was that ever a wrong direction
man is direct … will hope for disaster
to prove his worth

so it’s not that kind of ready
more like having the decency to empathize
can imagine despair
but being inside it is like hollow tin
like existence is only what
effects the almighty self
can’t see around that ghost
to organize choice
life within the general

mapping pattern
part of the poet to observe
turn for the worse
turn for the better

i have always been puzzled
with the question “what do you want? ”
technically that means “what do you lack? ”
if have wits about you,
you lack nothing


we combine many things into our wild imperfections



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