onward cost

are words supply and demand?
value goes down the more you speak
death the end of supply

ghosts don’t talk much
sky looks like fluff
and feels like razors
weight of this building
carries all three stories
to a spot just north of my forehead
we were better off never hoping
grinding dust like a tent spike

like a river –like the smell of rain
outweighed by the smell of the ocean
at a taco stand
you remember conformity

how like meant something more
if you only knew….

i pull the covers back and sit as if i’m waiting
for something
listen for a thought that says the day is finished
otherwise i get back up and go back to work

have always measured incongruities
through capacities for worry

words worth more the less you say
except supply and demand is not supposed to be applied to that part of life

always puzzled me how
grandma roma would finish more supper
if you put less on her plate

pile it high
and she barely touches a thing

now me, i eat same amounts
no matter conditions
i never saw the point
still don’t see the point

need doesn’t change according
to security
it certainly doesn’t do the opposite

how do we graft control?
the bobsy twins, supply and demand —
lead enough lives around by the nose

i love a good avocado dip
little guacamole with burritos
rain more of a mist
not coming down, but just THERE
i walked home that day
strolled
eating and agreeing with the sand under my feet…

i remember wondering why anybody gets married
and if confusion ever ends

but it didn’t stop me from going home
it didn’t stop me from tasting the sky
and not even seeing horizons
solid design lives in

every
single
step

at the same time
all at once
all or nothing…

always better to breathe in the ocean
and breathe out the rain

it is different here, true
the air sort of sticks to the inside
to anything it touches
and feels like swamp
swamps and snakes and survival
of the fittest
to walk is to hurry
and they don’t have the real mexican food
missing something

maybe it’s missing the sand
the waves
the need for nothing more
than a present and complete dependence
on the self

i still feel that was taken
made to doubt myself
and i’ve had to call the entire rest of the world wrong

to get myself back
because sands and beaches and walks
will always be there
but if i lose who i am

i won’t smell the ocean or the rain
will just see fights
holes filled with spat
and then it’s all about winning

i didn’t need to win then
and i don’t need to win, ever
i just need it to stop
so i can smile on the peace inside of me
as it touches the peace outside of me

because that’s god
that’s beginnings and ends
that is when i am strong

and strength never the crime
crime never alleviated by debt

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