not the village

you’re at the grocery store
a child is grabbing candy and throwing it
on the floor
the parent is saying “please”
please don’t do that
twenty times
each request more exhausted than the next
the child is climbing on the seats
kicking others
the parent says nothing
the child is running in the halls
banging on doors
you tell him to knock it off
he asks you what ward you belong to
7 year old male
believes he as a male, is superior
to any female
like a child with a silver spoon
knocking the peasant
the problem is the children running
into the street
like gigantic idiots
screaming in the store
high pitched screams
the problem is they grow up
into adults who think they get
everything they want
should you spank your kids?
god yes
or time out
or taking time to enforce
god yes do something
the real abusive parent
is those who do nothing
blame society and genes
drug their children
blame a disease when the parent
is sick
too distracted to set boundaries
too ineffective
to determine responsibility
the question isn’t
should parents discipline their children?
the question is
why are they afraid to be a guiding force
in their child’s life



3 Replies to “not the village”

  1. I loved this insight. I don’t have kids but I wonder how parents can handle discipline and the complex nature of bringing up right to be good and kind citizens. The idea of that sort of burden scares the shit out of me so I have thus far had no kids. Nice post though, confronting and about an important topic

    1. it IS scary and not that cut and dry, of course. just see a lot of out of control children and general lacks in boundaries — boundaries not only give children a greater sense of security, but within that a greater potential for happiness.

  2. can be a difficult topic — i very much agree that have to draw the line between a spanking or what some see as “beating” — interesting thing is that online and also on the talk show this week, was the men who were calling spanking a beating. or equating them as the same thing. they are not … a beating is done with malice. spanking will hurt the parent more than the child. is difficult and the easy path is to not discipline … so we have a bunch of folk taking the easy path. leaving everybody else to deal with their inability to control their own offspring. i believe in time out, but i also see how that is a joke and game for many children. it depends on the child. and there is abuse that does not ‘beat’ … i was abused by a teacher, made to stand outside in the cold with my nose pressed against the classroom window. believe me, there are many creative ways to abuse. and in SO many ways, having an entire community hate your children because they are undisciplined — IS a form of abuse.
    when one is praised and appreciated in public, for being well behaved and even gracious — that goes a long way. for a child, that goes a very long way. so it is not a question of whether spanking is right or wrong. because a generic “wrong” will result in a lot of what we are seeing NOW. and all the sugar in the diet now for children — that plays a big part. huge part … give them pop tarts for breakfast and ridilin for dessert. endless cycle. and the fear, the insecurity for children who do not respect adults …. that is huge. so you mix huge amounts of insecurity and huge amounts of fear and confusion — and we get fun time at Walmart. does it take a village? no. it takes one parent, putting their foot down, and meaning it.

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