to list flight

i’m kind of worried there might be a dead man in the rooms above me
read an article about struggle of faith by a Mormon woman
thought about writing an essay
on faith and church and differences
but might just click like on the comment that
says Mormon feminist is an oxymoron

exhausted after a yesterday of complete pain
i don’t want to move
ever
stay in this one position
and never hurt again
if i cried i would never stop
stiff upper lip
i will be lazy just for today?
it’s a wonder i get anything done
mind flits here and there
no end in sight to my failure
notebook sitting on chest
no dignity
only feeble hunt and pecking
when was the last time i vacuumed?
oh Christ there has to be a better way
maybe i should have written the essay
but you all know a woman is as good as a man by now
right?
we should go by headsize and not by sexual organs
if to correlate intellectual properties
with physical properties
at some point need to give an IQ test
to those who created IQ tests

stomp just now banging
pacing back and forth
so i guess he’s not dead
don’t know if i’m relieved or disappointed
as my body jumps to the next bang
and boom
stomach clenching
pain radiates and i almost cry for myself
“why me?” like an endless and hopeless prayer

i will brush everything off
even laugh
because that’s how it goes
the ups and down’s because my mind is broken?
no….it’s because it isn’t broken
judges only see what they’re shown

life ain’t so bad
even ain’t finally gets approved
mark of veracity
that one

Broken Wheel

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