branch of better fortitude

what are the odds you deal with getting drowned in one place
only to move and get drowned in another
what are the odds of paying for a million debts of karma
you never earned
for seeing the balance and studying lady luck
right up close

random that isn’t random
too often the view is tainted by the last
and also by insecurity
driven to counting again and again
knowing your numbers have to be off
but knowing they are not and
so a game where calm and cool
is the only response
yet calm and cool only earns more
dump

want peace but it’s not that alone
it’s the inkling that every skew
wraps you in a cage that is tighter and tighter
walls of no ability to burn the better path
take any and arrive in the mux of
every next yank

i hated the world at a very young age
decided to try out loving it
hated it again
loved it … came to rest on
the hopeless hope that maybe not all bad
maybe some ….but it’s ok
yet never was

you want to know what makes a being like me insane?
fact that i can do the math and know we’re all trapped

at the same time be chipper to prove
all is a wild ride that delivers soul to their
lovely destination

i took the routes to see the
difference

do you want stable past dictate
attached to mean spirit
or new freedom attached
to stupid and his dog spot?

because end is same
only room on this road for one
it is when indignities get solidified
when injustice steels my eyes
instead of going crazy looking for better reasons …

it’s that steel
that’s when i’m saying no to God Himself
believe me i do
and then take a look at what pattern
our ‘solid’ molecules are taking today
gauge how long it will last
and think there might be
some

some breathing room
to the spiral

some set point where past lives will
touch
…… burned and branded by the essence of creation

thing i don’t care about
is how many become how many in the right

piles on like bricks in an ‘i can do no wrong’ oven
see i bluff
oh i bluff like mad many times

but only in the opposite direction
always come out with more

slow and steady

learned many things from watching as a kid
biggest thing was that
good direction doesn’t happen by accident

every nudge a reason and purpose
then you have a party and make sure
the corn on the cob has those little holders
because someone sold them

that’s someone’s little girls going to private school…
circles of support
nobody told me that i did the math
world will speed up and slow down
yet it is in the ratios

where theories of big bang fall all apart
so reality takes its own leisurely stroll
what matters is that nothing mattered

instead –ran you over like a truck
deposited you in Catsup’ed Utah
place where no one is sure
who is holding the magic wand ….

do you remember being a kid? i don’t remember
ever being less

liked playing hide and seek
but only when a tree was home base

only the tree.

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