who is making life harder?

well whoever made the drug that periodically flips me out
it’s in that aleve sinus and headache (but not in aleve sinus and cold)
flipped so bad i was studying the 11 main influences of currency exchange rates
so i need a list of those ingredients

merchants that trick and fool you
to line their own pockets
they make life harder–you can’t trust anything
have to look at it all so hard that the brain hurts
leads to a type of stress fatigue

people not getting the facts straight
so you have to decide which information might be real
and which might not be real
but have to remember both
to reference things down the road
so all that extra work because of people passing along
false data

gossips don’t make it harder
they entertain…find the one who repeats things most
feed them carrots and find who turns up yellow

the chauvinists that make things difficult for all women
the men build the machines women only use
so curling irons, terrible
blenders, terrible
vacuums, terrible
sewing machines, terrible
etc…lots of bad work that rarely saves time.
time-sappers shifted into the women’s tools

false information on food and diet
no wise person to help us
what are told doesn’t pan out
only can moderate
balance
having to change what you eat all the time

i don’t like people who don’t know me
thinking it is ok to be familiar enough to be rude
or have dirty looks
if you are a stranger it puzzles me
how you think i could think that your opinion matters

it makes me have to pretend that i am pretending not to care
when i really don’t care to pretend…

so what makes it difficult is that so many have delusions
and frustrating that the people who think they are gods
are not smart enough to do the math
and realize just how insignificant they are
things that make it difficult is that i accept destiny
and too many don’t understand that
how you aren’t really carving a path
….just waiting for the wind to shift
to part the grasses

i want to cry about wanting to be a child again
because a first experience is only once
and looking at ferris wheels makes me sad…

it seems so long ago
fun was bare and empty
not holding worries or concern

no rice paper about to walk on

so not being young…
that is difficult
i remember it all
i remember the me i was
i remember i let my kindness defend me
i didn’t talk back or return spite for spite
they thought i wasn’t playing the game
but i took notes

so what makes things difficult is me

i want to fix the world
or part of it
i want to embrace my energy
and let it climb up the sides of the sky
to be a fine target

that will not crumble

impervious

i want understanding that i always have been
a person holding back
never using all skill
or all talent

“don’t give them your best,” she said

there has to be room over your head
what makes it difficult is i know how the story goes

i know how it ends
i know how to forget sorrow and probe fears

i knew in a blink the thoughts of an entire room of people
and my sorrow is huge

life is better thanĀ this multitude of prisons

your fear was never worth it…

who is making life harder?
to respect other hopes
other hopes
when desires will never grow up

i smile and walk away
i breathe the air
and kick a tire

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