to the villa

it’s not misery
just that when the head hurts
the gut clenches into a knot
like every fiber is braced
to carry out commands
only through the most elementary mechanics
and it’s not like i don’t
understand life without urgency
to have no concerns
not because there are no concerns
but because nothing concerns you
on the outside
within the passive observation
of strictured complications
there is no distance when
clenched in that darker place…
all rubs up against you
close and personal
because the perception is immediate
and i would rather be slow and obsolete
caught somewhere
in my own floating indolence
to find significance only in the bigger picture
that one way the heck over there
but here
on this spot
nothing effects peace
i like it when life delivers
me to that arena
when there is no pain to sharpen focus
and obscure gentility
i know the path
my feet scream to move
but instead i have to care
and hold confliction as this silent brace
so that none falls apart
ordered in the mind (the open brain) that hurts

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