because i CAN (compute absolute noes)

i always took control of my own medication-process. even to the extent of telling doctors what they need to prescribe, rather than leaving it to whatever pills are being pushed by pharmaceutical companies that week. have seen too many friends in horrible states where they kept adding more and more pills until — am quite serious, i knew this one couple that were medicated so badly, were prescribed over 50 pills a day each.

being open or honest about medication is dependent on the social situation, i think. like in the past, i would never share a single thing with employers or fellow employees on the job. you want new people to get to know you, rather than having to deal with pre-formulated ideas. in fact, part of my continuing to work over the years, was so i could be around people who saw me as “just another worker” and so i could compare THOSE reactions to the people in my personal life who believed me to be a mental illness.

so i was able to quantify and discover the reality that those who knew about “my medications” were in fact treating me as sub-human and of less import. what you have to say means nothing, because you are considered a person with a broken mind. so i found out by working jobs with no one the wiser — that it wasn’t what i said or my ideas that were at all outrageous — it was the fact that those closest to me were coloring everything with a basic misunderstanding of mental illness itself.

i don’t know what the future holds, when all psychiatry works on is creating more classifications to add to their book. it is not a business of solving any problems, but one of finding more problems to stamp unsolvable and thereby growing an industry rather than growing a basic human understanding of what it means to be yourself.

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