depression is the wrong word for despair

clinical depression is very different than situational depression or sadness. actual depression is when things that used to make you happy, suddenly are empty and void of meaning. it is a chemical state and cannot be undone by “thinking positive.” because there is no up and down in depression, it is a level state of complete non-enjoyment in your world.

i didn’t even know such a thing existed until this one medication took at one time made me clinically depressed. big eye-opener. until then, i always imagined over-coming depression was only a matter of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps. but is a very real thing that can happen. though is important also to note that many of those diagnosed with depression are not suffering from actual clinical depression.

those with situational depression also qualify for therapy or medication, when the build-up of despair hampers “normal” function. let’s say “hampers adequate function.” because there is such a thing as life-changing events, and that which leaves the individual sore-put to find the joy in life. the cause of an unhappiness can be long-past, and still create limitations that move a person closer to despair than to awareness.

i have not seen therapists or doctors make any distinction between clinical depression and situational depression. it seems they don’t see or believe in making that distinction, and perform the same treatments for both. biggest problem in whole thing is the use of the word “depression.” in casual conversation, we tell others “i’m depressed.” “i feel depressed.” “this movie is depressing me.” it is a flip word used to indicate that one is unhappy. AND, with the causality of that unhappiness generally placed outside the person. someone tells you “i’m depressed” … you ask them “what is depressing you?” you don’t ask them “what did you do to yourself today?”

so the word “depression” is used to categorize a known effect with the causality outside of control, but into an area that SHOULD be controlled. “that movie is depressing you? stop watching that movie.”

yet there is no “item” to be controlled in clinical depression. there is no action that can be taken or modified. it is not dependent upon action, reaction, or even stasis. so the problem is language, within the word “depression” itself –that has messed up a public understanding of the mental agony involved in the REALITY of clinical depression.

why is it so important to find what makes you happy in life? we all want to be happy. happy is the destination. and happy is considered the antithesis to depression or despair.

so what makes a person “sad?” deprivation. that’s one. even lions in a cage are happier if they are fed. shchultz is famous for saying “happiness is a warm puppy.” has an entire book, though … of “happiness IS.” “money can’t buy happiness.” but was depression — or rather, clinical depression — ever the opposite of happy? happy is an outlook of further joy. sad is an outlook of further sorrow. clinical depression is no outlook. it is the absence of an emotive reactive-state.

when i was given that medication that made me clinically depressed, i had to make a decision. erasing emotions might be the best thing for-me. and i knew that if i used that medication, i could be a very successful person. remove my emotional-reactive state and everything would be about goals and nothing but achievement within a cut and dry reality. i saw this. it was not an easy choice to make. i could be successful and respected — or remain my screwed-up unlovable self. so i went to the doctor and said no, i’d rather be what God made me to be. see, i had that choice. but those who have a continual and natural state of clinical depression do not have that choice. they can’t pull themselves up from the bootstraps, because there are no boots.


10 Replies to “depression is the wrong word for despair”

  1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts about this. I agree. When you are depressed, there is nothing. I have felt that way due to PTSD. I couldn’t shift that non feeling, that numbness, until I got professional counselling. My doctor also wanted me to take medicine for the depression to help the brain. I understand that for some, this might be the right thing to do. I value my doctor, and I respect her ability. However, like you, I was concerned about this option. I didn’t want to experience a fake world, have fake feelings of happiness or bliss. I wanted to address the underlying cause. For me, this came through recognising that I was being very hard on myself. I have had a long term tendency of not quite honouring my own feelings or wishes, to expect too much of myself. I have quietly disengaged from unhealthy relationships with friends and family members that aren’t serving my happiness, that were perhaps serving the other whilst draining the life out of me and not really supporting me. I confide in a select few trusted confidantes. I tend to my inner needs now, and I try to honour my feelings, good or bad, without judgement. I believe that positive self-care puts us in a stronger position to be of service to others who are feeling vulnerable and may need our help.
    To me, depression is a loss of sense of self… a disconnection from the heart. It is why we feel so numb. It is why the boot strap method doesn’t work.
    I didn’t take the pills for the depression. In the end, I was helped by a far greater power, and I regained most of what I had lost after the PTSD hit. I have shared a few healing prayers on my blog for those who feel lost or who are suffering depression or heartache, or are simply wishing to create more peace in their lives.
    I loved your post. Thank you. It really touched my heart. I am reading lots of blogs today and the thing that makes me inwardly smile is that there is a lot of love, compassion and wisdom around. And our world dearly needs it.
    Thank you for sharing these deeper truths about depression. Warmest wishes 🌻

    1. most welcome. though I would say that antidepressant medication does not necessarily manufacture happiness, like taking a few drinks at a party. it moreso changes the FOUNDATION of happiness. sets things on a different path. and one of my favorite things to tell myself and others, is that “God don’t make junk.” if people are being born with a different physiology, it’s because there is some kind of need for that. It’s a fundamental part of my faith. I am not a mistake, I am not an illness. for all they know, I’m God’s flagship. and the work to prove otherwise is man’s attempt to play God. that’s all, and I don’t fret because man is slightly out of his league.

      1. I am glad you found a path in the service of others, and within awareness, enacted changes that improved outlooks and ability. I disagree with sometimes labeling others as toxic…but I do find it is very important to recognize those who gaslight. they are the ones who don’t like what you are saying, because it threatens their own reality…so they will tell you that you are wrong or that you are crazy. those entrenched in gaslighting behavior….it is very important to simply remove yourself from them, yes. but I come short from calling it toxic, because they are trapped in that behavior. it is a behavioural illness of its own. so I keep my compassion for them. these are learned behaviors…to manipulate and work for control on that level. and it all stems from their own unhappiness and sense of lack of control. so basically, you analyse them back, and prove, at least to yourself…that the reason they are measuring you as coming up short, is because their gauges are broken. you are out of their range. It’s something like that. I’m still working on things. but my point, is that nobody is hopeless, we can learn new things our entire lives through. a good place to start, is learning to be helpful to each other. yes. sometimes a poor relationship is better than no relationship, and is you are in a position to help someone…sacrifice is a part of life. we don’t have to work to be selfish, calling others toxic. it comes quite naturally enough, and my thoughts are that only in setting aside the self, can we SEE the self. but the private regeneration times are important….so much beauty in the world God gives. I am awed by the Love.

  2. Hello, I didn’t mean others were toxic… I am referring to satanic energy…distortions of truth that harm us., refracted Light energy… I believe in everyone’s goodness. I also believe in protecting others, and a lot of the energy labelled as ‘healing’ is harmful. I’m sorry if it came across this way. I will reread my posts and address any areas that could be misconstrued. Thank you for voicing your concerns. 🌻

    1. welcome…..and stress of the coming holiday and all, i might be seeing things in my own light rather than the one in which it is presented.

      seems like this year is very tiring and draining. could sleep for a week

  3. Hello, I am not sure how you might feel about this but Ive nominated you for The LIEBSTER Award.Details are on my blog. warmest wishes for a happy healthy and peaceful new year. I hope you are doing ok xxx

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