useless

degrees of purpose
caretaking
job God gave Adam
yet to grow
what needs attention
i wonder how far we’ve come
in exhibiting procured entitlements
for industrious surroundings

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6 Replies to “useless”

  1. This is really well done. I love everything about it. Though I think it weould be more powerful and resonant if you lost the last line. You can still the same and more. ‘procured entitlments grates perfectly againmst the rest of the verse but adding ‘industrious surroundings’ is overkill. Great read.>KB

        1. thanks…..hard to give up what seals the point. start changing that much and i’m switching lines and making 10 versions! lol….i know some don’t believe in editing at all. i generally do a bit because i have an annoying tendency for repetition. and simply don’t have the skill to create a fluid read unless leave most “as is.”

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