another day and im free

another day and i’m free.  but flat on my back healing my two feet.  typing with one arm and a thumb.  y and im freewunder the covers at least and made it to the bed.  also got the computer set to play my stored videos.

i don’t care if i have cancer.  i don’t care if i am dying right now.  i don’t want to be locked up again.  i didn’t do anything wrong.  i don’t break the law.

free in bed is still free.  the kitchen is only 12feet  away.

9 Comments Add yours

  1. j4n says:

    Reblogged this on ayaladn.

  2. Immanuell Domunge says:

    hope you get well from your cancer.

    1. eebrinker says:

      feet going numb more likely diabetes, but i don’t run high sugar levels and the other option is leprosy. yea me. or could be nerve damage from bad back. gave up on doctors. they don’t do anything when you have government insurance anyway. just make you spend hours and hours waiting for 2 minutes of their time. like no one else’s time is valuable …. especially when that time is cut short by the ineptitude of that very profession.

  3. Eileen…this startled me…I didn’t know. Love n hugs.

    1. eebrinker says:

      thanks, Don …. but the mortality rate for human lab rats (aka mental patients) is very high to begin-with. just can’t take the heavy infusion of medicinal crap over the years w/o some repercussion.

  4. dragonkatet says:

    😦 Is there anything I can do to help? I know that sounds trite, considering I’m all the way across the country, but I’d like to help if I can. *Hugs* Hang in there.

    1. eebrinker says:

      up and about today, wrapped both feet good and going to try another walk tomorrow. toes are just staying numb but our family is working on a case against depokote and nerve damage. i won’t keep taking it because at night then in combo w/my sleep apnea — really leaves the feeling that falling asleep will simply kill you and then the wake-up/morning is completely disorienting. did you get my message to be careful about your GPS from the pics you’re taking outside the house? the photos are tagged so that when you upload them the files themselves give away your location to the site you’re uploading-to.

      “they” use info like to the fullest. hehe ……… but am working on letting paranoia take a backseat to getting at least some of my mind back. if i can’t fix my own computers, then i’m not only useless to the world, i’m useless to myself.

      so what can do is take care of yourself and keep that university library running ship shape. hey you never know i might be a student there some day. have a free pass to any university on my disabled bill ……….. ironic. the eternal student is the eternal guinna-pig ……….. *sigh, tears, and a big oh fuck it*

  5. dragonkatet says:

    Hope your feet will get better soon. I don’t blame you about the drug and sleep apnea thing – that’s some scary shite! Have only had that happen to me once in my life, but know several people who have it and have to wear the masks, etc. and that kind of non-restful sleep/insomnia is bound to take a toll on a person’s health.

    I did get your note about the GPS picture thing. The latest ones I uploaded were actually from my computer, instead of my phone, but I understand it’s pretty much the same difference. I’m not worried about them coming to get me. I figure I probably already have a (thick?) file at the effa bee eye or other such places, but I don’t give a flying you know what. If they come for me, they come for me, I’m not going to spend my time worrying about it. If I have notice, I *might* be able to disappear for awhile, but again, it’s not worth stressing over (to me).

    Oh yeah, you know me, I’ll be here doing what I do. That would be great if you were a student here! 😀 Eternal student is eternal guinea pig AND eternal teacher – for what you learn, you can pass on to others (and help weed out future guinea pigs in the process, eh?) – take a deep breath, dry those tears, get you a good cup of coffee and try and relax. 🙂 Remember, this too, shall pass.

    1. eebrinker says:

      dang that’s what my grandmother would always say, Dragon. as long as i get my head screwed back on straight i should be ok. i think the scariest thing is to feel like one is going through the whole thing alone; where me and me against the world becomes just a little too much.

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