my grandmother would laugh, and say how as soon as the kids entered her classroom they shut up, sat down and behaved. how the other teachers would come in and ask her how she did it —- the same students just moments before, were holy terrors in the other classrooms. mostly i need to work on getting the arrogance out of my approach — but are a strong-willed family and so raising kids and passing that along is a matter of dispensing uncompromised direction.
you let ‘em know you mean it ……….. not sure what happened with my sister. she got the devious gene or something …… rather than shoot from the hip, her favorite move is to play dumb. THEN she gets on her high horse and raises volume to shout and stamp her little feet. i lost patience with that very early in life …….. when i say jump, you better figure out how high. sis never had the attention span, except when sitting down to watch TV. but i listened to grandmother ….. every story, every nuance of control. i suppose grandma was never very happy with me, because i noted the methods. in that, if i EVER did as “told” — it was then a decision on my part that whatever it was–it needed doing, and i was the best candidate. other than that, always require the reasoning for any request. you let it lie — don’t dispute, but simply file the pathways used for that person’s particular logic.
all in all, my tendency is to not shirk the harder task. but if you are MAKING it deliberately harder, then I will find ways to bring you grief.
the point is that you can teach a people to NOT attack first – to wait, and listen. to see the difference between stupid, and enemy. to understand that compassion is for both.
but you cannot teach a person how to respect the rights of another; that lesson is gained only by demanding those rights, yourself. we harbor the understanding within the need for a golden rule that solidifies worth and starts at square one.
do not get trapped in the circle! do not praise the spiral as an only alternative ……. remember that linear space has much more than 360 degrees: the total only as wide as eternity allows.
I suppose there is an instinct to teach, when love outweighs disappointment. when sorrow cradles every intent for better. and when our souls scream to understand their responsibility:
to be forever the guide to one’s own path and one’s own way;
and as with any redemption, there is no shame in retreat.