I don’t snack while I cook


she is the reason

they make live-concert tapings:  applause an indicator

to how much something should be LIKED;  the meter

of appreciation for slow minds and indigent justifications.

I often wondered how they sold those tapings – who wants clapping

and hollering drowning out the actual MUSIC that you yourself

want to appreciate, and enjoy? 

but it tells them something is “good enough” so they are ALLOWED

to enjoy it. 


what damage we sport!  what cruel dents and

rending apertures … smiling holes and more holes.

ever the hungry Maw that abandons peace and strives for

“turmoiled” vengeance.   I always found the concept stupid.


decided simply a matter of lazy contemplations, that would rather

CHOOSE this or that to FOLLOW, rather than JUDGE with what

gray matter God gave-them. 

would rather manipulate others, than change themselves

shift an outlook

purge a tender memory. 


today I manage the song through my headset – the CD one gift

I keep.  thinking this is something she LIKED, trying to understand.


because ever I wanted to make that desperation in her SEE:


you don’t have to hit them before they hit you.  sometimes the ANIMAL that

kills its own young to eliminate competition …. well sometimes extinction

is a self-made congratulation upon repeating number “1”


I would watch her snack on the bacon

and sausage

as she made the stuffing for thanksgiving;  the slavering over

what she prepared for others.  I thought there was something there I wanted


that to have meant having appreciation on some scale



but it comes with a price

one I won’t pay


for the life of me.


she said she had a degree in culinary science ….. and every drop tasted flat.  I simply

wanted to understand


the dependency

the rank dependency on a system

WE created ………………. the monster a cruel form of human animal;


they CLAPPED!  for 234 executions …. and I said “welcome to Camarillo”  …. thousand oaks.  the ones hoping for ventura, but too WHITE to be near the lands on the beach, setting up their schooled and doctored naiveté ….inland.  in forts of outdoor malls and gated redundancy.


oh yes, they clapped.  followers to the last.

it was when she tried to show me her artwork and tell me what to think of it —

that I gave up.  or rather, decided that it didn’t matter if I understood.


sometimes bad is in the ingredients …even if the dish

was something made with unbridled hands

even if it was something one person you value appreciated:  sometimes the priest

whips himself


sometimes you can only judge the surface and leave the rest alone;

Roma stating “it’s his WIFE ….she makes him happy”


but I think the priest whips himself:

and you’ll never know why….


4 Replies to “I don’t snack while I cook”

  1. The cruelest insult for me is canned laughter. The banality and sheer attempt at manipulation of the masses is incredible, especially when the subject is clearly of inferior quality or worthiness. You cover a lot of ground here. Always meaningful to read you Eileen. Hugs.

  2. funny thing is i don’t mind canned laughter. or rather, if it’s done well … like you say, if they make something out to be hilarious that is really just plain stupid —

    been thinking on it, and that the whole process of “canned laughter” is a form of art. and chances are that the sitcoms with canned laughter that i CAN stand, are choreographed by the same person. maybe.

    either that, or there is something ok if the canned laughter is from a studio audience actually watching the show or the footage. but i’m betting there’s a whole science to it.

    i find the “flat” show like “30 something” and “office” as really depressing, like the actors are two steps away from slitting their wrists. but then, like with Malcolm in the Middle, which has no audience laughter and a soundtrack with some musical scores instead — that’s a really fun show.

    but have never had live-taped musical performance worth anything — not a one. i just end up thinking ‘why don’t you all shut the f-up so i can hear the music.’ and it’s like you’re getting something cheap, like it’s nothing more than a bootleg taping from somebody in the audience.

Feedback always welcome

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s