Tried hanging with the Mormons

They’re really neat

But couldn’t see past the meat of yellow

Tried hanging with the Catholics

But fact is

They’re kinda mean

And you won’t find a bigger group

That needs to mellow


Tried being a good Lutheran

Tried being a smart Methodist

Hanging out with those who like to eat

But I never learned the best

In the ways to cook potluck

And I never learned to dance

Without my feet


I have tried being a Bowler

To wax the dusty lanes

But I always hit the gutters

Every weekend was the same


I’ve tried the local gym

The tribe of angry sweat

But I couldn’t decide on causes

For how large a part could get!

So I hunted out the courts

Hoping tennis was the key

But a key I couldn’t afford

After they changed it … now not free


So took my ass back to school

Students, after all, is a large tribe

Well, the teachers saved me from grace

But the rest barely knew I was alive


Every now and then I’d move

To try everything again

Thinking community was key

For the reasons I didn’t fit in


Was a gangster bitch in Albuquerque

A psychic in the redneck North

Drew the crazy card in Salt Lake City

Was a ‘giver’ for all intents

On western shores


Have tried a thousand jobs

And lived a million lives

But never do fit in

Never found my tribe


Then one day

I wandered onto Myspace

And at least it’s someplace to be

Cyber space

A screaming fantasy

But at least the demons you find there are free


You see, I know what my huge problem was

Well, comes down to a smoking ‘this’

An alpha female who doesn’t want to fight

Who’s a pacifist


Who would rather see peace

And a world of cooperation

Than pecking hens

And fading charms

You see it’s the women who rule

You never knew it

But their pain is what’s caused the most harm

And I suppose I think more like a man

Or something that isn’t that keen

For gossip and taunts

And ridiculous journeys

To find yourself right where you’ve been


Add to that a childhood spent on beaches

With the sun telling one ‘blessed’ is alright

I never had the heart to be a ‘winner’

Never so weak with desire

That I had to fight


So am left on the shores of what I call ‘tribeless’

And strange thing is we’re making our own land

A world of cyberspace for the mentally homeless

Because the rest ….

Well, the rest can be damned


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