safe and secure

pain that bites through foggy
enigmatic soup
bones to crush and bind and blend

cramping convolutions
edges hold me subjectively
compensated
touching every stomached need

variety a prisoner
locked
but never free

if hurt is only settled
does it dream of
incapacity
the opposite of shaken
all along

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24 thoughts on “safe and secure

  1. do not take offense, Pablo…..but yea, pick my wording carefully and am fond of my native language. oh….and i’m one of those nasty american bitches that think only of themselves….

    • A deconstruction of language is not the destruction of language itself, it is the breaking of the barrier of common speech… like, you know… when we totally, like, speak this way. Or when we read the newspaper and we seem to get only objective facts, or when we study a philosophical treatise and it is full of coherent sentences… language is much more flexible than that. Poetry allows us to deconstruct the normal way of language by stating such things as

      edges hold me subjectively
      compensated
      touching every stomached need

      and even in that absurd way of expressing ourselves (pardon me for calling it absurd, but I consider absurdity a compliment), even in that absuridity we can evoke emotions and sensitivities.

      • well….deconstruction is more or less ignoring settled meaning of diction. and i don’t do that….

        yes, am not using cliches, and simply working the language. but “subjectively compensated” is a perfectly logical term, and simply not one that is currently or commonly used.

        sorry….just don’t believe in taking on airs. don’t know and have never read the poet to which you compare my little “deconstructions”….lol. besides which, i change my own style about every third write to suit my mood.

        this poem is speaking about the inverse correlation between security and freedom. probably my fault for not taking more time in the selection of my title. but yes, it’s serious and YES, there is meaning! lol….otherwise, what would be the point? jabbering to hear myself speak?

        the graphic drawing i did there is a demonstration of sets and subsets. how we compartmentalize our lives…..how aspects overlap, and are not always mutually exclusive. and how the more we work to define, the more we find ourselves encased by mutual perspectives.

        do appreciate you taking the time to offer opinion. apologies if i appear less courteous than i should….have yet to fix myself a morning cup of coffee. and my diplomacy sucks at the best of times.

  2. There’s nothing wrong with not agreeing. It’s all opinions anyway.

    But I’m not denying you had a meaning for your poem, but once it goes into this shared world, interpretations are inevitable even if the words have an intentional meaning.

    For me this poem did not convey what you wanted it to say word by word. I have a very different background, different education, ideologies, etc… so a phrase like “enigmatic soup” can evoke in me different relationships and images than in you or another reader. This is where deconstruction comes in.

    Poems are flexible, if you wanted to say what you were thinking an essay would have been best. But expressed it in poetry, words resonate in other frequencies, and one single objective meaning becomes impossible.

    Jabbering to oneself… pay attention to your daily thoughts, (I’m not excluded). Everyone of us is jabbering day in day out in our heads, with what it seems like no point at all. Should we write down every thought as it comes in, we would all be institutionalized. Yet a poem which expresses this ‘jabberningness’ can evoke great sentiments because it displays what every human goes thru every day.

    So that is finally another parcel of my thoughts.

    • well, i HAVE been institutionalized! lol….am a diagnosed fruitcake, of the variety the US is turning out in droves from their mental institutions.

      and of course….you’re so right…..and this particular style very much leaves interpretations open. i thought about drawing it in to a more personal level, but it’s taxing.

      i take it since much of your writing appears to be in Spanish, that that is your native tongue. but you have a nice command of English.

      some poets do seem to simply pen nonsense….in that a robot could do it with a game we used to call “mad libs.” was just trying to point out that i don’t do that when i write. do search in my head for the correct words to express as closely as i may the thought. yes….an essay may be more detailed….but, poetry is an inexpensive way to express the same within less. and those able can probably get at least a 60% or so of intended meaning. which is an acceptable drop, considering the time and effort it saves.

  3. and Pablo….i know the meaning of absurd, and was not offended. what bothered me, was your use of “complete.” why the original “yes and no…”

    even under your definition of deconstruction….there is “dream of” and “all along” …..rarely do i completely escape common usage. and so “complete” is a false statement……

    and if you already realized that some might consider “absurd” as being offensive, then your use of the term is made, to bring discord. i like sneaky…..i can admire sneaky. sometimes looking for a fight is a good thing. but your definition of absurd by european standards is not an uncommon one, and i took it as that.

    generally….it is more used in that sense when one is speaking familiarly with known acquaintance….

  4. Finally, I invite you to know: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C%C3%A9sar_Vallejo

    A sample of his, translated by David Smith:

    If, then, we always go meet
    whatever enters on the other side,
    now, chirapated eternal and all,
    I have me, from whom I’m hanging,
    I’m still on the edge. I have me!

    The more open poetry is the more beautiful for me personally. It creates cracks through which the reader can slide in, so that both the reader and the writer get something personally meaningful out of it.

    I lost faith in universal truth, frankly because truth is conveyed in words and words are so rigid. Poetry seemed to be the only medium worth exploring. But I am young and I’ve changed before.

    I have plenty of English poetry, stories, essays. You are more than welcome to explore and criticize:

    http://nihilisticpoetry.com/category/poetry/page/2/

    • will do….get a little more coffee in me here and wake up, ready to do some reading.

      just to let you know….i do not care for interpretations. for something may APPEAR widely poetic as interpreted, but in it’s written language simply that culture’s sayings or own cliches. and not being versed in the language leaves me at a disadvantage, to judge as to whether there is merit.

      for example, “I have me, from whom I’m hanging,” seems a nicely original and poetic view within English. but, it might well be that the phrase in its original tongue is widely used by every shop owner on the corner….and is simply new to me because i am not of that culture. not saying it is not original….saying that i cannot tell.

      like there is this one japanese poet on myspace that i have followed a bit, and i doubt that her wordings are actually poetic, but rather direct interpretations. but it is interesting still, as far as research or knowledge, to observe what that culture has organized within its language as key phrases or cliches.

      so anyway…..did read one of your English pieces, and am still thinking about it. you see a lot of darkness….

      • You are certainly right about that. Translations are very difficult. The passage I quoted has a completely different ‘ring’ in Spanish. I would have personally translated it in a completely different way. The problem with Vajello is that he turned Spanish upside down. Translating the original intentional awkwardness of his poetry into English is in all practical senses impossible.

        If we always go out to meet
        as much comes in through the other side
        now, chastipated eternal and everything,
        look now, from whom I hang,
        I’m still sharp. Behold me!

        I’m reading the same words that David Smith did, my feeling of the poem, my knowledge of the language, created a completely different poem.

  5. I like that in the art, you have both edges and smoothness (the rectangles and circles) and I can see how the overlapping effect ties in with what you’ve written. It’s true that some people are only happy (and secure?) when they are unhappy – it’s familiar and what they ‘know’, so it’s a weird sort of comfort zone. You never know what life will throw you, so even the most secure of us (am not including myself, because I’m far from that) can get shaken up and the hurt and pain explodes into the air of our lives again – kinda like a snow globe, and the metaphorical pain/hurt is the snow. Sometimes numb is definitely better.

    • well we see we want both security and freedom….which, they may not be mutually exclusive, but striving for both can be interesting….like pulling on both ends of a tug-of-war and going nowhere.

      you think about the modern citizen, who thinks having a new car or a better car will offer them more freedom and security. but with added security, is there less freedom? is just a thought….something have been mulling over.

      think the more security one has….the more numb one could be? was sort of conflicted on using the word “shaken” in that closing….the original word i had there was “freedom”….but i didn’t like the repetitive nature after already using “free.”

      so guess, in many ways am saying being shaken is a good thing…..and security is overrated.

      and yea….worked the over-lappings on this pic, and background in math always leaves me to see the interaction of sets and subsets. the way we try to order our world…..classifying

  6. and Pablo….even if i knew ten languages, don’t think i would choose the work of an interpreter. because it means constantly making decisions and choices….seeing how close to the mark you can get.

    but between your variation, and Smith’s….i can get a better idea of the original author’s design. makes me think, that in honest translated works, they should have two or more opinions side by side, to show the difference and where there might be a greater variance of conformity within the text.

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