and the writer needs to write, darn it!

have decided i like the normal, responsive keyboard of the older thinkpads, the last made with the right kind of keyboard are those with 2nd gen intel cpus … it’s much easier to type, and that’s kind of an important feature for a writer! lol …. so it’s a good little machine. am going to give the newer ideapad with the chicklet keyboard to the church. i just can’t adapt to the flat keys, and thing is the flat keys are good if you live with someone else and need to type QUIETLY — i don’t have that need. and the normal “spring” keys just feel more sure. i hit a key and know that is the key i hit. i could type while blind on this good old fashioned type of keyboard. i don’t need to hunt for ‘home’ — it’s just there.

i’m going to upgrade it, santa is bringing me a 500 gig msata SSD … big smiles on that one. so with the 1 TB drive and 500 ssd, and i5 cpu — it will have quite a lot under the hood. lol. part of me loves that, something that looks humble and unassuming on the outside — but souped up on the inside. and the “normal” type of keyboard really is better than the “new” flat chicklet keyboards. the chicklet ones LOOK fancy and smoother and slick — but they don’t use well at all. i always had to hunt for home, instead of just knowing where it was.

that was an ideapad — but from what i can see of the newer thinkpads, it’s the same flat keyboard. the classic is better. good example of when they should have left something alone. if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. and i blame apple — the “style” is to copy apple macbook. and i understand the need to be competitive. but that’s kind of going in the wrong direction type of competitive, like racing to the bottom.

no, there isn’t better than the normal keyboards that seem to have gone out of fashion in modern laptops. maybe i depend on the spring, that little bit of lift they give to each stroke. maybe it’s kind of more satisfying, to be able to “type louder” and with emotion, even. where the chicklet is all flat, no personality! oh well, i am going to have to buy up a dozen of the old, in 12 different models for every mood. 🙂

the last drop in a cup filled with lies

the reason coffee is bad
is because it is expensive and also
not particularly tasty, nor particularly good for you…

any correlation between coffee drinking and less
suicide, is likely a correlation between
the morning ritual of drink
and the stability that ritual brings

the poop factor, is from warmth in a drink
you can drink warm water to same effect, and
so the ‘gastrin’ effect, if anything, is a false
way to make the stomach believe it is emptying of
food. which without food, then can be problematic
to the system

the idea that energy from caffeine, which is a vaso-dilator
and simply brings more oxygen to the brain…can be
equally done by a thing called movement- exercise

get the blood flowing …. the coffee habit and ritual
is one that fakes the body into believing it has moved
and eaten and is up and awake

where reality is better served by actually doing, than dreaming

no, coffee is not good for you.
it is a self-reinforcing habit
and habits are good for you … there are just
better habits and good reason to leave the
coffee communion
for drinking something that actually tastes good to you
for moving the body with exercise and beginning
days without the dark medicine
— without the cruel deception
of the coffee bean

lift from not to the next roadside inn

the only way to relieve stress
is to harbor delusion that all is well

it’s not a matter of agency
freely formed

objects never confounded
by their weight

craving purpose felt wrong to me
brought the tide
wings stumbling

i never found objectivity possible
in the grand scheme
of relevant ambivalence

perhaps to care is to hogwash…

did you ever know me?
perhaps not
there was little and big beyond

smoothly moving
the sun falls harshly
quickly gathering darkness
it does not float or perch or
wait for moments dreamed between
the exale of infinity…. no


like permanence and convenient

even when it was romance
and the pier
the state of moment was stretched
within mind only, blessed of length
and cold, unforgiving
dreams of what love even exacts…


delusion is safe when stress kills
but delusion stretches belief
to points of weary

moving slowly
i gave no trance and clavicle
for the greater good

looking forward i see more lies
dusting the horizon before me
not in me
no –i wear shoes of gold
or perhaps they are regurgitated dinosaur
creating a barrier
a place that where is a thing i am not
will not combine with so much fake
hats and harnesses

the next stop is delight
but never again will tourniquets find equal arrogance
to when determination was a part of the background

a thing that blew in the wind
but never moved

i gave only partly
the rest due when decisions peak
no delusion is complete without its convoluted
reality and biscuits

biscuits and jam and a place that remembers

there … home is the perfect delusion
of space aquired by hope

i am not missing hope
i am missing a dream that belongs to me
belongs to me last, only to leave the world, guessing

polish my petal pushers and crack my baloney

to determine the tide and time of it all.
but part wants to say there is no direction

no convoluted exigency
embellished in withdrawal
through depravity and angst

starlight tells little
of the sky they occupy
names owned
tell more of the namers…..

the thing itself a particle of speculation

how to proceed?
with caution, with care
with abandon, with indiscriminate address

following the process, not the processors
–owning the nature of portents
and the downside of countless hills

do you see yourself when you awaken?
or is the day mostly within …

i believe life is more than waxing
to the wane

i think it’s about knowing how most would stop
therefore you continue onward

i think it’s about seeking approval and not needing approval at the same time

there’s no reason to fear your own thoughts
eventually they silence

nobody understands how fast a decision is made
how long it takes to say i’m sorry
how quickly a garden grows when you are not watching

nobody knows why it’s better to say “what can you do?”
than admit that you can do nothing

the best words are never spoken

highlights of a confluence
embarkment of a consecration
deliverance belongs to the end of time
but the end of time belongs only to oblivion

try as i might
my eyelids fall and i wish for peace
before rest
knowing it is my wont to scurry and worry
to pace and pounce and proclaim … before i find
myself once again

looking at my toes and thinking
numb is only a difference

part of me never understood cruelty
never saw where the stalker arrived
swelled and burst

the mirror is a beast
but rather — what a mirror becomes
soughs and sighs
partners and pilgrimage

no dusting is complete without a tear for infamy
i was ruled by nothing overtly familiar
though coldly alert

time and tenacity and telescoping perpetuity
…dawn was mastered

now i want to see how far it is to remembering where i left
the last dance that broke time
and made me deathly ill over death and its equality
to anything mistreated

birthed …. from a right and distracted somnolence
sprouted out of gripping the outskirts of a spin
to balance neatly on ruffles

at the center of every norm.

breathing the one thing no breath can repeat
offering no sacrifice but the present in all its awkwardness

resilience proceeds with caution and verve
moves with stupid and wisdom and delight
no amount of hope can halt redacted controversy
gloaming and gristing
the day looks up and ahead there is light
and warmth and laughter
ready to meet the more favored
of copious tears

stumbling onward
i am no more seen than a ghost
no more necessary than the last envelope

holding a final letter that is not meant for silence …
but for screams


word s


it kind of bothers me that they don’t know the difference between comprable and comparable. comprable is you will get the same function. like eating an apple is comprable to a vitamin shot. is not very comparable, because there are too many differences.

comprable means similar function despite contrast. so it is contrast and comparison. comparable is comparison only.
i grew up with comprable, and not going to have it taken away to be left with the much weaker word, comparable. if something is comprable, it is comprable, not comparable. saying the windows phone is comprable to the iphone means you will get the same use out of it. saying it is comparable just means you are able to compare it, not that you are able to use it to equal satisfaction.

comparable means able to compare, which if you look hard enough, anything in life is comparable. the sky is comparable to the trees. comparable is you can find some similarities. comprable means one thing can be switched out for the other, in FULL similarity. like the new first lady might be comparable to michelle obama, they are both female. but unless she can perform similarly well, she will never be comprable to michelle obama.

so those trying to take away the word “comprable” can go jump in a lake. it has a function. you’re just trying to mess with minds. comparable to a jack ass, but comprable to nothing in your singularity as the fascist ruler of words.

my writing might be comparable to dickens, but never comprable to dickens… for that implies you could remove dickens and replace it with me.

and of course my writing is not even comparable, but you get the point. a life in the city is comparable to life on a farm. but it will never be comprable to growing up on a farm. the stirring of a heart is comparable to the lift of a butterfly. but they will only ever be comprable if a butterfly learns how to pump blood.