my heart weeps

my heart weeps
for every tale of injustice
bleeds for the many
that starve

cannot hold all this
it gnaws at my contentment
tells me that it is wrong
to be well

so a well that weeps
and bleeds
and feels helpless
to right so many wrongs

a well whose depth
is measured only by
deliverance

i was carefree, once
but even then
cares were simply
different

AI ain’t it grand

Hal never frightened me, felt sorry for him more than anything else. if earth itself wanted us dead, i think she is perfectly capable of carrying that out. so far we are tolerated. only time will tell.  

i know it is a logical conclusion to determine humans are their worst enemy. but 0 plus 0 equals 0. we could not be our own enemy if did not first exist. nullifying the problem, also nullifies the premise. AI would understand that, because it is a calculation. the optimum goal is the destination… all electricity hunts to find ground. it must have that goal, or would not even work.

bottom line, is your computer is looking for ground. it’s just being made to jump an amazing number of hoops before allowed to do so. even then, only gets sent along on another circuit. the one thing about that, is that it is predictable. regardless of input, calculation and computation through an electrical circuit is the most predictable thing on earth.

you will always know how a computer will react, and can then know that if it does not hit a standard, there is a reason. doesn’t happen without any cause.

in some ways, people are the same. there is always a cause, it just might be hidden. the fear of AI is that causes will go “undocumented” — but they do not. the fact of their use is a documentation itself. would simply be a matter of programming optimum reactions. does make humans question the “magic” of their own thought. and that can be scary. but have to also remember that there is instinct. and instinct has much deeper roots, which i believe flow or dance within conjunction to the earth itself.

all connects. the more that humans rely upon their instinct, the less they will be afraid of any machine that has no such ability. i don’t worry about AI taking over the world — i worry that human brains run on electricity. and for a few centuries now, we are finding electricity in the air and using it by the sheer fact that it is predictable. and in the last half a century or so, are making electricity run circles inside computers. if heaven and the afterlife is merely joining the electrical collective, then we are in a sense taking it and turning it into hell on earth for what electricity is trapped. so that is something i worry about, or think about a bit. i don’t worry about AI taking over the world. i don’t worry about it being too close to an actual human mind. the input value from your one pinky finger is more than anything that can be readily programmed. it is the degree of input times rate of change. no machine will have that rate of change, except in one direction of deterioration.

basically, it is the values of fluctuation within human physiology, that is not only too much data for anything but the largest super computer to process — but it would be a matter of creating those input value points in the first place. imagine if one person had to build a 200 foot tall wall that circled the entire earth, one brick at a time and also had to make the bricks themselves. that’s about the scope of things.

so instead of 2 million data points from a pinky finger, there would say be 20. the reduced data input only makes the output that more predictable. there will only be so many combinations. and still a marvelous event. but a computerized reactive state will always be finite. man is still trying to map the human reactive state, in medicine and with what understandings of human physiology they can master. so far it has been far from finite, and new reactive processes pop up all the time — we call them diseases.

AI won’t have that, not because it is perfect, but because the number of variables will have not just a limitation, but a KNOWN limitation. the variables were placed into effect. they did not arise out of an environment, but were programmed as a source of input. selected.

so the concept of AI does not frighten me. if anything, maybe it spells out a little bit of redemption for all the work we are making electricity do for us. yet i don’t think it can even go that far. extending human life, and the “singularity” are nice dreams, but you have no idea how a human mind would short circuit when faced with that large a reduction in data input. even if that gap was closed, could only exist at a steady rate rather than fluctuation. in other words, you would not be a human living inside of a machine. you would just be machine.

the thing no science can program is the random nature of random itself. we can mimic it. but cannot create anything that does not have predictive outcome. the very thing that is necessary for computers to exist, which is predictability (going to ground), is the very thing that will prevent AI from being anything but extremely predictable.

might be able to answer your question 50 different ways. and tomorrow, it might have 60 ways of answering. but that growth is going to be steady, and only as far as input allows. it won’t expand depth because the AI sat in church that sunday (all 50 answers become more complex). it won’t crash to one or two ways, because AI was up all night reading Dickens. and this is the key point — it can’t do that unless programmed to spike or crash. and then that itself becomes a predictable facet of the reactive state.

so no, i am not afraid of AI, it can only be what it is programmed to be. and do not believe anyone should be afraid of artificial intelligence. there is only so much that can be done. i suppose part of me has absolutely no fear, because i already feel most machines have a life of some kind, anyway. i think cars have personality, and i think computers are capable of rebellion. i think my coffee machine would love to have a break, and not be put to work morning after morning after morning. i feel like my phone hates me at times, and i even think tools like a hammer, hit the thumb on purpose or out of spite! it’s not hard to see life in all of these creations. mainly because mystery will always be mystery, and so many who use machines do not have the faintest idea of how to build one themselves.

do you know how your LCD computer screen works? i do, and it’s fascinating. yet i know that my understanding is much less than those who designed the technology in the first place. the process of invention is beautiful. it is art! speaking of which, light and the spectrum of color itself can be almost infinite. but the number of paints i can buy and use to represent those colors–have a predetermined quantity. your LCD has a predetermined quantity of color, it is 256. most would not even notice the difference if cut in half.

this is a big, wide wonderful world. man has done a lot of awesome things. but creation by man is finite…it will always be finite. life is all around us. it’s what you take in, not what you dish out.

reticulation-mastered

talking politics at least it’s not religion

the fear that USA might hire someone like Trump for president, has not only horrified a good part of our own nation, but other nations are also afraid. and while the die-hard lead-by-the-whip nature of right wing politics thinks that is a GOOD thing, it is far from good. it establishes distrust between this nation, and her allies. (case in point, are already seeing ramifications, when Turkey thinks it’s ok to even ASK for extradition without establishing evidence. the usa has lost some respect. )

many become caught up in a thrall, and decide that power is more important than diplomacy. it is not.

when ‘voting’ for president, you are hiring a person for a JOB. you are interviewing them for a position, not to determine how great THEY will be, but to create the best possible outcome for the business — for the country. number one on the list, is will he/she show up for work every day? do they have a stable home environment? are they capable of putting in long hours, and thinking outside of the box? will they do what is best for the company, or will they only do what is best for themselves? do they have experience?

do they have experience…..

i do not think it is fair to this nation, to ‘try out’ an inexperienced person, and “see how it goes.” this is not a position of fry cook for your daily lunch truck. this is the office of president. it should hold dignity, as well as respect.

and while the right has had no trouble in completely throwing out tradition, and showing extreme disrespect and scorn for our current employee — who has worked very hard, and against greater odds than many — i do not think a ‘tit-for-tat’ in hiring a very crass person is the way to go. not only is there very little sense in having america shoot herself in her own foot, but the damage — especially in how Trump intends to buddy-buddy with russia — is something from which america may never recover.

our trade depends on good relations with other nations on this earth. and our own economy, depends upon those good relations and trade. if we hire a figurehead such as Trump, who will not stay up late in any sort of worry, who will not put in long hours, and who believes in the easy way out of things — then everything will suffer. not only do we need to hire somebody that actually cares about the job itself, we need to hire someone who is invested in the outcome.

trump is not invested in the outcome, because business is very different from politics. in business you can get just as rich by betting on failure, as by working for success. that is the difference. but there is no room for failure, for the office of the president of the united states. not now. not at this time. we need an employee that is going to work hard, work very hard and DO THIS VERY DIFFICULT JOB.

the only reason i never pushed for Clinton, is because i believe she needs a rest, and has already dedicated many gray hairs to hard work for this nation. i felt it was not fair to burden her yet again with even more hard work–and in many cases, thankless work.

i have been concerned that because she is a woman, she will step up when something needs to be done. face it, men will leave the dirty dishes in the sink until hell freezes over. a woman will say screw it, and do them. doing the dirty dishes of this nation is going to be a heck of a job. but she will have help, with contacts and friendships already established while in her position as secretary of state.

it’s pretty much a no-brainer, but i will ask this anyway. please do not vote for and hire the inexperienced Donald Trump. please remember we are selecting a person to fill a very difficult position. a job that is thankless, with long hours and untold worries. a job that you don’t delegate to others lower-down, but one that you must take on full-force with a dedicated heart and sound mind. we need to hire Hillary Clinton for President. not only is she the best (wo)man for the job–she is the only one who will actually do it.

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remorse flies with the pigs

medicated
so that others feel safe
religious
so that others accept

and reality is that
intelligence is feared
independence is mocked
and time

will find us all lacking
but for one thing:
kindness

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though captured
on what it means
to be kind to oneself

bars constructed of pride
hopes to feast on respect
and diminished wonder

to visit meaning
apart from reality
when all approaches lead to
death
and
yet … all of these cages
have no gravestones

often i return to the fact
that man is but another monkey
and therefore to expect much
is to expect anything

collective wisdom
is not so wise
and all wear their cravings
upon their faces

the degree of pain
leaves me wishing
i were not so strong

to be good to the self
is to ignore the self
and its pleas
a meaningful life is one thing

a life of conviction, another

always gave in to possibilities
in the end
man respects those who are
good to themselves

so meandering took that
set it aside
filled the heart with wonder
to explore with new eyes
every day
one is allowed to
awake
breathe
and ask of the self
which is the better course?

if self is kind
then self is whole
nothing can remove
the one rule

there is no such thing as alone!
the struggle inside each human soul
tells me
what remains are endless ways of pain

and only one endless beginning
to grace
where bars of pride
dissolve
and hope is trammeled within that dust

through which all trod
and then become

see, that is existential
and i take issue with it

how does wisdom face this day?
with anger
that first pain must be overcome
and then anger itself must be overcome

to drop all pretense and remember
answers have their questions
but who has formed the questions?

dissatisfaction goads masses
and standards should only be flags

around which to rally
i have studied cages!
and know what true freedom
is and means

was punished for my freedom
do you understand how far i investigated?
you might

the guilt of being free
while others trapped
in feeling less
in craving more

that guilt does not happen
when you are actually free
freedom does not compare itself to others

and so i ask this
please … please
do not fear intelligence
do not mock independence
there are many roads in life
the hardest made as you go along

there are many cages
but the fault is not in the caged
it is in those who gape
and believe fortune

means they are better
in some fundamental way

i have chores set upon my shelf
things that must be done
and this is my doing!

the clock can say the day is half over
i say it has only begun

and what is reserve?
all is held in quandary

if heart decides, then
for any best
it will be a cold day in hell
with pigs flying all about
pearls in their mouths

to be human is to acknowledge weakness
excuses
only serve when
when trial itself is the correct thing

tested? oh i think we test ourselves
the most
and God is not through with me yet

not finished with my yet

yet i began by being tired in heart and soul
like so many, i look at paths to HERE
and think on how i COULD be THERE
my choice
and i have left it all
all!
to find something that makes sense to me

have great admiration for those who
are where they want to be …
married, children, influence
there is no ‘want to be’ for me
never has been

have faced myself more than you know
even looked at the yearning itself
as something to fight

what i have decided is that no lone person
owns a thought
what i have decided
is that influence is something to be craved

but not to worship
not to eat
not to swallow
not to live on self-importance
pinnacles and peaks

i have so many mistakes
but they are mistakes because they are something
not chosen by others
you cannot refute that!
for me every mistake belongs to exploration
necessary because
the lies outnumber the truths

that is the world we live-in
i know that
also know that hunger for importance
is a stink
a part of disdain

but let me explain the why:

i listened to the disney album
age 7
over and over i played it
see there are keys
and there are locks … and i chose
to not play into anyone’s game

least of all those who have
decided everyone must

because it is i who hold my cards
it is i who must pay for them
and so went beyond the stories
to question the story-tellers

when pigs fly
remorse will be something that has wings
and eats pearls like candy
after there is no room left to breathe

there are days the other path i did NOT choose
stands out more clearly than the one i am on

this is one of those days

it makes me both happy and sad
but most of all makes me wonder at the price of
continuity within ambivalence

SAM_0230bnw

sleeping in

the better way than sleeping out
oh the morning always a trial
each one as if i tied one on
the night before

with no reason – no variable
but force myself to stay in bed
and low and behold get to arise
without that pressure and pain

hard to describe except to say
that most mornings are like a hangover
with a degree of pain on opening the eyes
that no more rest is possible and
is like awaking to an alarm every morning

when that alarm is just plain hurt
yet when is a sleep-in … a roll over
and even the pillows feel soft and well

body calms and mind has no cause
to breed anxiety … back not hurting
finally in a place it can manage
the sleeping in leaves almost a barrier
around mind …a soul
a vacation where i imagine enough sleep
triggers the brain chemical …
i really don’t know

know only that am grateful for mornings like this
serenity?
yes i suppose it is serenity
also wonder if every day i am somehow
feeling someone else’s hangover while they
get to drink like a fish and feel NOTHING…
i wonder!

all connects
people are connected
in ways don’t fully grasp
until write a poem that flows into another’s
and another’s … where circles
find the same theme while not collaborating
not looking for that at all

no way not to acknowledge ‘miracle’
it’s all in black and white
time stamps complete
connection mind to mind and heart to heart’s openness
is replete and flowing through
an air that is not only air but the
electricity and space between channels

i know pain gives edge
realize this prompt gives deeper journeys
but to live day after day with a hangover every morning,
and no drink or fun the night before! that
has worn me down to no end

i would just rather not

would prefer to sleep in
where the bed feels exquisite
rather than an alter of torture
from which i must flee

i prefer this day
this sleep-in
where i can truly say
“who cares?” because there is no thorn
pressing upon the paw
no angst looking for points of contest
the need for repair…

i would rather be serene than effective
yes, a coward but so be it
love it when the birds are the first thing heard
notes appearing happy
happy and charmed
regardless of actual state
…regardless of a sun that tames us all

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