i spent the day writing and lost everything but the last two paragraphs

i believe in tit for tat. if i were a goddess, i’d be an old testament goddess. i don’t give or help anything unless i observe merit. have bouts of compassion at times. when see a homeless man on the corner in 100+ degree heat, and hand him a cold soda on my way back from the store. but for the most part, i’m a born and bread capitalist that believes in hard work and pulling yourself up by the bootstraps. i don’t give for the sake of charity. most of the time, i hate what money does to people. that hunger.

makes people lose sight of what’s important. this world does not own winners and losers. it is not a playground for givers and takers. it is a world of beauty and grace, found in the next day, and the next and the next. it is a world of hope, and wonder, and an infinity beyond all imagining. it is a beauty that brings one to tears, because no matter what direction we go, we are all going there together. there are no lone paths, only lonely pathmakers. it is a world that is hard to love sometimes. but you have to look at it, minus yourself.


toned on worry’s path

tumbled through
brought forth in hope
and stubbornness
don’t worry now


the world is full of angst
becomes the flag
the banner, caught
used and then
used up


no one knows my under go
left to see
and flow the rising
beside the open
slammed shut on
absent shores


begin to stretch
and burn
the day and night
away for lacks
of turn
and turn about
what is the drop?
the shout
the strength that lectures


t’was built as mine
and all that suffers
and leaves the
a spark
a first
a last
began, i took my foresight
then left forgiven minds
all souls that sigh
in winds cut down
by stronger births…


i fight for worth
and worth alone will see
all through
to yet the next
the truth
the underscore and light
after before

the sound is ever
when forever fills these voids

i bow and do not weep
there is no greater noise…



The threat to Democracy in the United States

What puzzles me most about the Trump candidacy, is why? This is a man obviously accustomed to getting what he wants (or else)–but exactly why does he want to be President?

Now over the years, I’m sure those intent on a little non-subtle brown-nosing, have exclaimed what a great President Trump would make. I’m sure they said it often. But wouldn’t any human being be able to distinguish that for what it is, a platitude stated to garner favor, rather than any type of specific truth?

And when you go from there, the waters get even more murky. Trump is spoiled and grew up in an environment where physical comfort and satisfaction are everything. Now this is based on my knowledge of those who grow up with “money.” But it’s a pretty firm psychology. Unless the person demonstrates through behavior that they certainly are NOT spoiled and instead have built solid principles and a moral foundation for their life–you can pretty much conclude that the “I want it and I want it NOW!” attitude goes under the heading “Spoiled.”

So we have a person that amassed a little bit of wealth and did so with Casinos and encouraging gambling, as well as by running a fake university, and pretty much employing enough lawyers fulltime to get whatever he wanted. And at the same time, in the pursuit of “what Trump wants” — his philosophy does not exclude “Go after their families.”

Generally, I steer clear of issues that might have me put on a blacklist. I truly do. Am not exactly in a position to even state the obvious, without having to be afraid of some kind of retribution. And that is why I am speaking out against Trump and everything he stands for. Because we as a nation cannot afford to have a President using that seat of power to enact personal vendettas and lists of those Trump will hurt. And continue to try to hurt. In every way he can. In every possible manner he can find.

Trump is about revenge. And while it is tempting to think he has decided to run for President through blackmail. That his wife or his family or someone close has really heavy dirt on him, and is using it to pressure Trump. While it’s really tempting to think that has to be the reason, and his latest wife might have thrown a tantrum and demanded to be first lady or she would tell the world what he does in the bedroom? While that is possible, it’s more likely that Trump has his list of hate this person/like that person. And he wants to take it national. He needs more power to carry out more revenge.

Trump wants to have the power to reduce anyone he sees as an enemy to dust. And it’s scary, and that is why a good number of media outlets and a good number of private US citizens, are working to destroy his bid for President. This isn’t funny anymore. Most of us that are not New Yorkers, have only seen Trump in passing over the years. Have noticed the “my name goes on everything” he has, and decided that he is crazy, and left it at that.

But now he wants to take his crazy, and put it at the head of the nation. And while we can’t afford that kind of insanity near the Whitehouse, let alone in it — what we really can’t afford is a leadership that expands power by creating a list. A leader intent on revenge. One who regularly uses that in his own business, to punish those who cross him. He will take you out. If you are not with him, you are against him. And that is how these type of rulers work. He’s ratcheting his way up the monkey ladder.

I know many pundits have likened this candidate to Hitler, to Stalin or Mussolini. And of course we get immune to that, and shake our heads about the over-the-top dramatics. But believe it or not, i think we are there. We have an actual regime trying to take control of the United States of America. A dangerous regime. One that threatens to not observe the election results, and even threatens to gather a militia and attack Washington DC when they lose.

And it’s not funny anymore. We also become immune to the notion, because that is something that happens in third world countries. That is something Turkey has to deal with, not the United States! But here we are. And that line was crossed when Mr. Trump started telling his followers that if he does not win, that means the election is rigged and that they should do something about it. He crossed a line there, and so this nation must decide how to handle a dangerous regime that is working to take power by any means it can.

I do not know why Donald Trump decided to run for President. We all laughed at the thought, and then here we are. But it’s not just Trump that is dangerous, it is the regime he has raised that will follow his bidding. And if you are not on his list of good, then you will receive retribution from the Trump regime.

Trump is dangerous. But not to the enemies of the United States. The enemies of the United States love him to pieces. They WANT to see the US dissolve in civil war. And the very strange and horrible thing about this election, is that Trump wants to see that happen, too.

It’s possible that there’s no threat and everything is fine. But we passed that stage and it isn’t fine. Not fine at all. I have no doubt that Utah is safe. The mormons, after all, run a pretty good game of power-regime themselves. And they are with Romney and against Trump. There will be no cooperation with the Trump regime even if it does work to have power elsewhere. And it’s not likely that they would ever be persuaded to play ball with Trump in the future. The mormons have this thing called ‘moral standards.’

So mostly I am concerned with the rest of the country, that does not already have a strong power element in place. And even though it could mean a democratic loss, I think the Republicans should pull Trump from the running — IF THEY CAN. That’s a big if, and I don’t know if the RNC has enough power at this point to do it even if they wanted to. I’m of the mind that IF they had the power to remove Trump, they would have by now. I don’t think they have any control, and the Trump regime is no longer under control by the Republican party. If it ever was.

And the “why” of why did Donald Trump run for President? Apparently because job of “Dictator” was not available, so he intends to create it. I don’t know how our election process has gotten to this, but I don’t think we should take the threats lightly. If Trump loses the election, he intends to take the Presidency by force. While that seems laughable, since we have the entire military might of the US army — I think we need to stop laughing. We laughed that someone like Trump would even run for President. But here we are.

conversations for the betterment of humankind

easy to preach to the choir
how to deprogram the right
lost in trumpism … that’s the real question

educated people
people that know tricks
and see through rhetoric
designed to lead sheep by the nose…

are already aware and need no convincing

but what to say to those caught in manic uproar of trump
what to say….

“do you have children?”
“well you sure must hate them.”

“do you know what a nuclear bomb is?”
“it means we’re all screwed, there is no such thing as winning a nuclear war.”

“do you know how weak it is for a leader to use name-calling?”
“it means they are down to their last arrow, and even their last arrow is that weak.”

“do you know what delusional is?”
“do you understand that trump is still citing his republican wins WITH REPUBLICANS in blue states as reasons for believing he will win that state in the election?”
“do you understand that he is either that stupid or he thinks you are that stupid?”

“do you know the office of president is an adult position?”
“we need an actual adult in the whitehouse, not a spoiled, name-calling 70 year old child that is more interested in fans and popularity than he is in actually doing any real work.”

“do you get that our enemies are the ones that want trump to win, not our allies?”
“our enemies want to vote for trump”

“do you think it’s smart to take the political party with the most guns, and make them even more paranoid and crazy?”

“there is no way we are going to get out of this election without violence at the polls. do you understand trump has created a monster, and he has no way to control it?”

“he is not going to be the one hurting. he’ll fly off, leave it all behind and call it a bankruptcy. he won’t pay for all the damage caused. stiff everyone and leave them with the bill.”

“how many charismatic leaders do you know that aren’t in it for the money and the stroke to their own ego?”

and then they say, “yea, but hillary is a crook.”

“because donald says so? name-calling. when he is the crook and he is the loser. he is so much like Cartman that i think southpark should scream copyright infringement.”

“hillary is a liar …”
“and the liar trump told you that? trump has had so many pants on fire alerts that the fact checking sites are going crazy with business.”

“and btw … he just takes everything that is wrong with him and says it belongs to everyone else. he doesn’t own anything he does and never takes responsibility. and then expects everyone to forget that HE is the actual crook if he calls someone else that all the time. puts him on a moral high-horse for that issue, when he has no right to act superior. and he knows it, it’s a game he plays. it’s like that last arrow in his quiver, it’s weak. it all spells weak and all these rednecks want to put this sorry, weak excuse for a man in the whitehouse!”

“well … hillary will probably get it anyway.”

“i know. remember i said you all should have gone with jeb bush?

it’s not that big a deal. i think it’s like they say on that space alien movie, ‘a person is smart, but people are dumb, scary creatures.’

i think that’s what it comes down to — all that group think. and trump is really too stupid to be moving the masses. he’ll move them right off a cliff.”

“speaking of cliffs, can i help you down, now?”

“yes — let’s go get some lunch.”

i watched

i watched as every
married woman i knew
got a stationary bike
for the living room
got a treadmill for the den
got a stair stepper for the porch
when will this end?

where is the torch
for this olympics?

i watched as no sugar
ice cream came in play
and i watched
as the no fat cookies had their day
and i shook my head and cried
because no one cared about
the hopes and dreams
on the inside

no one cared
about a woman and her pride
the men are clothed
in serious shades of brown and grey
they wake up
to a world that has to go their way
but what of
all the colors left out there
in stark repression
the wife does one more stair


and i watched
as the children want their
hot dogs back
and i watched
as they trudged the miles
back from jail
locked up
to keep the bad guys out
but the children are hurting
childhood is not the time for fear

and i watched
as all the married women i knew
got stationary bikes
for their living rooms

gated communities the norm
more jails and more scorn

i watched
with a heart both warm and hollow
as the country blindly followed
every hook
that both rich and poor would swallow

i watched the worry
over looks that all will go someday
and the trophy wives
that traded in their lives
for a closet full of high heeled shoes

only to vacuum round the treadmills
in their living rooms

i watched it all go down
in several decades on this earth
no one digging deeper
for any lasting worth
only decorating

the outside
because an object screams
in silence
i watched this world dissolve
in violence
by the men
who covet submissive wives
and crave the power
of craven lives
when will this end?

i watch
i watch and think
how it’s so much easier to pretend

they all will wake up some day …

but this never goes away
i see more men caged in suits
and more women
caged in silicone expectations

pretty the only way to be
a child-woman that laughs during the day
and then at night
she cries privately

i watched
as every married woman i knew
bought stationary bikes
had them delivered to their living rooms

i watched
and didn’t say a word
how they all were going nowhere fast
how the body is only a shell

and it’s the heart, the soul
that lasts

love is the breeding ground
that never should be thin
never should see hopes as pinned
the markets surely boomed
as women bought
all kinds of torture
for their living rooms
but i never wanted
a life born to be less
than the perfection
woven into mindless patterns
of every object’s dress

and i stood on the pier and boldly laughed at
the men who would call any friend of mine fat
i laughed at the whole drooling mess

refused to accept this life
the life offered by a world
enthralled in looks …
when i was the one looking best

because i watched