glass houses are stoned

we ask for peace
and then have to decide
the meaning of peace

what is the meaning of a bad day?
a bad year
a bad century
peace divided by time =
20,000 ways to be sorry
in the aftermath

tend your own garden
hoe your own row
how is anger inspired?
sign said “BITCHCRAFT:
making others angry
by telling them the truth.”

what kind of truth is in peace
what is this great search or destination
this abject crucifixion
upon civilization
a song was promised
and so steps are steps
bridging the gaps
between here and never there…

***

birds greet the day
and sorrow hopes to see the sun
but if you can’t get there walking,
then you run

and if running wears you down
then you find the wings to fly
a life is only bitter
from cold depths between your eyes

find me now
where human feet touched older roads
where they knew the better path
to turn around and dos-see-dough

like the pages of a book
like the stardust in the sea
did you ever find a rock
that wasn’t free?

if running wears you down
then you settle on the shore
for only waves will understand
no more….
no more….

find me now
and i’ll parry warm delights
for tender strengths you hate in me
i’ll offer up to kill the night

open arms for open days
open lives in open plays
… did you think that less left more between the lines?
or did they wonder where to find a truth
when all that’s known is lies?

weary man will greet the day
endurance always sees the sun
but when you can’t get there walking,
then you run

from the bullet in your brain
where hate decides that life is pain
did you see the hole where hope once made its home?
i gave the best from me
with words in paths and minds that be

the day’s not over
thought gave us her all
find wings that let you fly
and i’ll run hard to touch the sky
for in the end
when spite lets sorrow eat your brain
i will laugh with those before me
who marked time as timed insane …

find me now
and i’ll tell you where I’ve been
the roads are older paths
where grandma walked on needles
pins
do you see the birds?
they’re singing
notes practiced wearing thin …

and if you can’t get here walking
how does fear make armies run?
in woven spirits held together
light will always turn the sun

and if we can’t get there running
then we’ll bless the wings that fly
quiet prayers for every hope that passes by…

find them now
while human feet touched older roads
then countless pain knew better paths
and countless joy knew dos-see-doughs

for bringing edges of tomorrow
turn around to see you see
how wonder fades to treasured mournings
where my heart has always been

like the pages of a book
like the stardust in the sea
did you ever find a rock
that wasn’t free?

up for away

how can we be better people?
each day lived
is an improvement on the last
because the last is gone
dead
yet here the hope stands, now

should you laugh more
love more
sing more
hug more
work harder
play harder
have more vacations
read more books
drive more cars …

should you be something you are not
so you can think you are something
you always thought others should be

where are the lines?

i never thought it was important to love yourself
because passion doesn’t need to tell itself to love passionately

self-preservation is one of the instincts
doesn’t require intellectual reinforcement

a better person … does that mean more conformed
to idealistic parameters?

is that when you get to be happy?
or is it now
as something that isn’t a better person yet
something still growing
because great expectations were always ….
great

so we are constantly young
even though the body has begun to scream from age
…….. how do i make other people THINK i’m a better person?
THAT’s the question
how does one change those structured opinions
of actions and being
based on what is fundamentally appearance?

it is all appearance
the whole damn lot

i never cared because i had other things to do
but might some day
might turn around and put on that face everybody
believes they understand

because no one gets that this is it;
smooth, tenderized destruction within the infinite
births of the present …

will conjecture manifest a better person?
oh never … i don’t think so
the woken mind is already on the better side of yesterday:
you … you, my friend …
already contain the truth of being alive.

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i squish spiders

when playing volleyball at Lutheran school
hit the ball out of bounds for about the third time
one of the men said “well, at least she’s consistent.”

went on to play at the beach
high school volleyball team
and a real coach
we ran laps on soft sand
could dive as good as any
though never coordinated enough to
manage the killer spike

tall person, you know
they… the infinite they
EXPECT things

how does injustice compute failure?
see, i got to play
and that’s all i really wanted

not left standing on the edge
(like at the Lutheran school)
while no one passes you the ball
(trust is a strange thing among children…)

it’s kind of worse than not being chosen for a team
because you are ON the team and left with never a chance
to practice or get better so then
they confirm their thoughts on how awful you are
it is a trap
and you didn’t stumble into it
were pushed with never a thought on what is fair
what is right
(children are innocent you know …)

so i played at the ymca too
knee pads for the dives
learning to temper strength
a coach makes sure you get the chance
a chance to PROVE

so what is improvement?
made sure i knew how to play
proved ‘em all wrong
tides and time
worlds and worlds

was never about winning
when you win, the fun is over

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hello

want to know my greatest fear?
that all structure will dissolve
and the people surrounding me will go
surprise!
we are just waiting for you to feel most comfortable
now we are going to burn and torture you
until we can drink in your screams

…. that is what i fear
possibilities that perceived kindness (to find like in kind)
is merely a reflection of my own inability
to comprehend want

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i don’t trust ambivalence
roles and parts
dividing lines
the end of circumstance
(what is soul but a target, born?)

life is messy
yet fear is very organized
and i lied
my worst fear was realized a long time ago
in realities that bore no gift

you see i saw our future
science to keep humans alive forever
used to eternally prison
and torture other beings
that is the reality of who and what man-is
it****will****not****change

distraction is a funny thing
you fear death?
my biggest fear is that there will be
no death

because truth tells us man will never be ready
and the remainder of what frightens is born from the center
sung to sleep the bitter soul
will remember what is good, and beautiful, and peaceful

don’t ask me to explain
how God really saves Man
or what the sky is like

shall we define our fears?
love is the source of moving without thought
and hate is done with more thought than time can master

there and when

stay calm cool and collected
know what you want
medicine is supposed to bring health
well-being
or make you live longer
learning things should foster happiness

there is no joy without sorrow
no relief without pain
living is to render the differences grand

instead of naming 10,000 mental DIS-orders
wouldn’t it make more sense to name ONE ORDER?
describe that perfect creature
and then kill it….

what makes me happy is to smell the rain,
not dance in it
what makes me sad is our multitude of cheaters,
not the rules of the game

what makes me worried is smiles that were fake
not the scorn that was very real

what decides i take a fall
is the same thing that convinced me i have wings

and i left so many people
…..better off

fate is nothing that can’t be bartered-with

stay calm. cool. and collect experience.
know what you want
catalog the lackings
how much of that is things?
or is the greater number of wants
to make changes in self

to be that better person
because reputation is everything

what is strength without compassion?
what is ambition without reasoning…

what kind of a prison is ritual
does comfort of the body happen
without comfort of the mind

does God listen to dreams as we sleep?
does action mean more than plans

does silence whisper of understanding
or does it speak volumes of emotion

not a child
never a child
spirit has always been the same age
since the day my eyes opened
on the here

you cross it with now
somewhere over the last rainbow you catch the first train
what is mighty
power and might
so might is different than power
those who oppress
step on the weak
or is might a type of talent

have you ever noticed your breath?
your world is in you

you are not in your world
just seems that way

put the heads together!
motion
rules of physics based on what we see
now on what we don’t see
but until minds see other
than the expected pattern
the fool will find what he expects to find
it is all a wonderment

all the concept
now remember to smile pretty
don’t speak unless you’re spoken-to
find a hole
and decide there are better rocks on
the other side of a green fence

it’s better to let the day wash over you
find a piece of humanity
on the inside of intentions

people can rise up in hate
but then they are no longer people

 

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