i get this form of trepidation
like a coagulation of remorse in your gut
usually as a kid
it was when i forgot to finish a paper
give myself the time
and then you are stuck
with nothing to hand in
and a solid stamp of guilt
it’s like vomiting anxiety
refusing payment for rules you denounce
it’s like shame
that twists and knots a stomach
cold
when the faculties fail
and ‘forget’ becomes a part of something worse
i stand like a child
defiant
because there is no worship here
I think I know the feeling…
the only reason why i couldn’t become a professional student…..