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two pools

i get this form of trepidation
like a coagulation of remorse in your gut

usually as a kid
it was when i forgot to finish a paper
give myself the time
and then you are stuck

with nothing to hand in
and a solid stamp of guilt

it’s like vomiting anxiety
refusing payment for rules you denounce

it’s like shame
that twists and knots a stomach
cold

when the faculties fail
and ‘forget’ becomes a part of something worse

i stand like a child
defiant
because there is no worship here

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