Wishful Praying

God loves me
Many times I think

no

many times I think God is just me
me asking if I care about self
me wondering how much
how many times comfort is found in self-defeat

shoot yourself in the foot
until holes become a footwear fashion-statement

where “God loves” means scorn for self

gone

most days I know it doesn’t matter
yes god or no god
the sun rises
the world needs a smile

fact is it’s ok to find a haven from

fear

we ache and let the sorrow go
sometimes I think pain is the balance
the ballast that lets clumsy ambition fly

to believe God loves
is to give permission to treat yourself well

strife is how we develop pride
self-care is how we develop patience
pride and patience is how we cherish consistency

the world has many forces
I don’t think they guide me
I just hope I don’t get in the way

luck a strange thing
when I trip on the cat
she screams and makes my heart stop

I try to tell her
will be the death of me

they will find me crumpled on the kitchen floor
with no clue
but God will know I needed more

I’ve always needed more than

love

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2 thoughts on “Wishful Praying

  1. This prayer could have been written for me.

    You have a belief system which seems to match my own.
    (Its good to know that it is not just me!!)

    And this bit –
    “shoot yourself in the foot
    until holes become a footwear fashion-statement”

    Made me laugh out loud!!

    Love
    David

    • what i didn’t know how to include and hope it was implied enough……… is that my balance is amazingly good, and any animal will be flattened before i allow a fall. but the heart attack from the scream is what might do me in! lol ………. and think there is a lesson there somewhere :)

      you are a love ………. lots of irish in me, and i listened to my grandmother. things are remembered and passed on ….. have a son with red hair, you know. i think philosophy is in HOW you relate, not the agenda itself. there are certain creeds you do not abandon. unwritten … creating like-minds because history is stronger than penny-candy.

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